Happen In Home Comic Strips - Page 9
414 Results for Happen In Home
View 81 - 90 results for happen in home comic strips. Discover the best "Happen In Home" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share December 04, 2011's comic on:
Russell: Gotta go. Carpool. Boss: Okay. See you tomorrow. Wally: I have to go too. Boss: Whoa! Sit back down. Wally: Why does the carpooler get to leave early? Boss: Carpoolers are like heroes that are saving the entire planet. You're more like a thief who is trying to steal time from the company. Wally: What if I hitch a ride home in the carpooler's trunk? That would make me a hero too. Boss: That sort of makes sense. Russell: I only pretend to have a carpool, but you're welcome to ride in my trunk. Wally: Deal!
Share January 21, 2012's comic on:
Wally: Now that I'm a top one-percenter, I wonder what kind of women I'll attract. Do you have any sisters back home? I'm asking because you'd be totally hot if you were a woman. So I'm thinking hoo-ah! Asok: I cannot count the number of ways this is wrong.
Share February 06, 2012's comic on:
I.T. person: I moved our email servers to my ancestral home of Transylbonia to reduce expenses. You might have heard rumors that all Transylbonians are data vampires, but I assure you it's an exaggeration. There's this one guy, Doug..." Transylbonian: Dude! It's fiber-optic! Doug: It's really not my thing.
Share March 16, 2012's comic on:
CEO: Our plunging productivity is all because of an eight-year-old boy named Traylor. Traylor doesn't wash his hands, he brings home every virus and germ from school, and gives it to his mom, who brings it to work with her. Dilbert: Maybe you should see a doctor. Carol: It's just allergies!
Share March 18, 2012's comic on:
Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.
Share April 10, 2012's comic on:
Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.
Share April 29, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: People always try to take advantage of me. Therapist: I know what you mean. I lost five pounds and my husband didn't notice! I came home last night and he hadn't even cleaned the garage like he promised. I had to park on the street! Dilbert: Is it my imagination, or have you found a clever way to make people pay to listen to you complain? Therapist: Tell me more about how you think Im clever.
Share April 26, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "Oh no . . . If this guy turns left when I go right, we'll end up walking down the hall right next to each other." The man turns and walks next to Dilbert. Dilbert thinks, "I hate this . . . A huge, empty hallway and here we are synchronized like two of the Rockettes." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So that's when I knocked on the ladies' room door, yelled 'janitor' and ducked inside." Dogbert says, "At least you maintained your dignity."
Share May 13, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "It's so awkward to walk past strangers in hallways; you always gotta avoid eye contact." Dilbert thinks, "I know - I'll wait until we're near and then pick up that little piece of fuzz on the carpet there." Dilbert arrives at home with a bandage on his head. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then we both went for the carpet fuzz." Dogbert replies, "Smooth."
Share May 25, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert arrives at home and asks, "Okay, where are these so-called upholsterygeist?" Dogbert replies, "In the living room." Dilbert says, "You turn on the VCR, I'll get the Jane Fonda workout tape!" The chair runs away screaming, "Aaagh! The Exercist!"