Life Expectency Comic Strips - Page 9
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392 Results for Life Expectency
View 81 - 90 results for life expectency comic strips. Discover the best "Life Expectency" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 17,
2001
Tags #cubicle, #sucking life force, #happening faster, #life suck 3000, #machine, #evil catbert
Transcript
Dilbert is standing in front of the boss's desk. Dilbert says, "My cubicle is sucking the life force out of me." Dilbert continues, "I mean, it always has, but it seems like it's happening faster now." The boss approaches Catbert who is at the controls of a large machine called "LifeSuck 3000". The boss says, "They noticed."
Monday June 18,
2001
Tags #meeting, #monday morning, #travel all day, #stealing life, #reschedule, #social plans, #business
Transcript
The Boss sits behind his desk and says, "I told them you would be at the meeting Monday morning." Dilbert says, "What?? That means I have to travel all day Sunday. You're stealing my life!" Dilbert sits on the couch in his robe eating. He turns to Dogbert and says, "Then he said if I had social plans he'd reschedule." Dogbert replies, "Ouch."
Monday July 16,
2001
Tags #life no purpose, #scratch back, #service to others, #feel useful, #found something, #works
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting by the bank of a river. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My life has no purpose." Dogbert responds, "Scratch my back." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Are you saying the purpose of life is service to others?" Dogbert says "Okay." Dilberts says to Dogbert, "It does make me feel useful." Dogbert responds "I think we both found something that works."
Friday March 01,
2002
Tags #demonstrate, #life to have meaning, #wrong place, #can't do that, #meeting, #presentation, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says to a coworker, "I'd like to demonstrate some things we can't do." The coworker responds, "I don't care about things you can't do." Dilbert says, "I know, but it makes a better demonstration this way." The coworker exclaims, "I want my life to have meaning!" Dilbert points out and says, "You came to the wrong place." Dilbert adds, "Can't do that."
Saturday March 09,
2002
Tags #empowered button, #life in one package, #refusal, #enforced, #empowered to wear button
Transcript
The Boss says to Asok and Wally, "Every employee will wear a button that says 'I'm Empowered.'" Asok responds, "I don't want to." The Boss says, "You have to." Asok and Wally walk away wearing their pins. Wally says, "That was everything you need to know about life in one package."
Wednesday May 29,
2002
Tags #find calling, #life and waste, #metal detector, #no to bottle cap, #priceless treasure
Transcript
Wally is walking down the hallway with a metal detector. Alice asks him, "Wally, what do you expect to find here with a metal detector?" Wally responds, "My first choice is some sort of priceless treasure. But I wouldn't say no to a bottle cap." Alice leaves and Wally thinks to himself, "I finally find my calling in life and I waste all day explaining it."
Friday June 07,
2002
Tags #earned, #enginner, #life isn't fair, #moving up, #office space, #private offcie, #Promotion, #complaints
Transcript
Catbert says to Dilbert, "The other engineers are complaining because you have a private office." Dilbert responds, "Maybe you should explain to each of them that life isn't fair." Dilbert is back in his old cubicle. He thinks, "Yeah, I guess it IS easier to explain it to one person."
Tuesday November 05,
2002
Tags #boss in jail, #morale skyrocketed, #profits soared, #life had meaning, #luck, #two days
Transcript
The Boss says to Carol, "What happened while I was in jail?" Carol responds, "Morale skyrocketed, profits soared, and for the first time, life had meaning." The Boss walks into his office and thinks, "It's just my luck that I'd miss those two days."
Tuesday December 10,
2002
Tags #cruel invention, #disposible, #evil, #fossil fuel, #lackey, #life, #no prupose, #no purpose
Transcript
Dogbert is sitting in front of Dilbert's magnetic cancellation wheel. Bob the Dinosaur approaches and says, "My dream was to someday decompose and become fossil fuel." Bob continues, "But Dilbert's cruel invention will make fuel unnecessary. Now my life has no purpose!' Dogbert replies, "You can be my disposable evil lackey." Bob responds, "I-I-I can?"
Friday January 10,
2003
Tags #extreme programming, #ruin my life, #user story, #Features
Transcript
Extreme Programming. Dilbert says to a business associate, "I can't give you all of these features in the first version." Dilbert continues, "And each feature needs to have what we call a 'user story.'" The business associate responds, "Okay, here's a story: you give me all of my features or I'll ruin your life.'"