Market Segment Comic Strips - Page 9
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145 Results for Market Segment
View 81 - 90 results for market segment comic strips. Discover the best "Market Segment" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 06,
1992
Tags Dilbert, potational, assignment, the boss, notice, market, two, drink, minimum
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you on a rotational assignment . . ." The Boss continues, "You will be working in marketing until further notice." Dilbert arrives at the entrance to marketing. A sign over the door says, "Two drink minimum." Everyone inside is wearing a robe and holding a drink.
Tuesday April 07,
1992
Tags Dilbert, transferred, market, work, barbecue, tuesday, lunch, unicorn
Transcript
A man holding a drink and wearing a robe and a wreath of leaves on his head says to Dilbert, "You look lost." Music plays in the background. Dilbert says, "I never knew that marketing was like this . . . Do you people do any work?" The man replies, "Well, not on 'Barbecue Tuesday.' Are you staying for lunch? It's unicorn!"
Friday July 10,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, Family, saving & investment, stock market, money, invest, stock, options, broker, Fun, snide, comments
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I invested all of my money in stock options." Dogbert asks, "What's an option?" Dilbert explains, "It's complicated . . . Basically, you give your money to a stock broker and he buys nice things for his family." Dilbert asks, "Do you have any snide comments?" Dogbert replies, "No, you took all the fun out of it."
Thursday July 16,
1992
Tags Dilbert, date, millions, stock, wallet, thick, glasses, late
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Gee, Mary, you weren't willing to date me BEFORE I made millions in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "I'm afraid you see me as just a big, talking wallet." Mary replies, "You're much more than that." Mary says, "For example, you also wear thick glasses." Dilbert says angrily, "Too little, too late."
Tuesday December 15,
1992
Tags Dilbert, tina, sales, department, boss, new, hurt, customers, new guy, despise, account, i hate you
Transcript
A woman approaches Dilbert and says, "So . . . Dilbert, welcome to the sales department. I'm Tina, your new boss." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Hi." Tina says, "As the new guy, you get the customers who despise our products and want to hurt us personally." A man climbs onto Dilbert's back and beats him on the head while yelling, "I hate you! I hate you!" Tina says, "You'll be selling to the small business market. He's your best account."
Friday October 15,
1993
Tags stock market, Dogbert, Dilbert, iowa, business strategy, computer
Transcript
Dogbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I saved the company a fortune by sending the headquarters staff on one-way business trips." Dogbert continues as he types, "They haven't wasted money on any stupid projects all day . . . Now I can leak my strategy to the media and exercise my stock options at the uptick." The caption says, "Somewhere in Iowa." Dilbert stands in front of a farm and a dog growls at him. Dilbert says to a woman who is pointing a rifle at him, "Uh . . . I'm here for a meeting." The woman asks, "Did anybody see you?"
Thursday December 16,
1993
Tags Dilbert, dog, Dogbert, invention
Transcript
Dilbert holds a shirt and says to Dogbert, "I need a name for my new tubular luggage invention." Dilbert rolls the shirt and stuffs it into a can. Dilbert continues, "The name should be descriptive of its function, yet also call out to my target market." Dilbert says, "Go ahead . . . Get it out of your system." Dogbert says, "Dorkage."
Friday December 09,
1994
Tags high income group, can afford product, rich, tasteless, easily amused, located a cluster, dog, golf course, animals
Transcript
Dilbert and Alice watch as Dogbert points to a diagram and says, "Your target market is the high income group. They're the only ones who can afford your product." Dogbert continues, "More specifically, they must be rich, tasteless and easily amused. I've located a cluster of them to study." Dogbert stands behind a bush on a golf course and watches two golfers. One golfer says, "That dog's watching us golf again."
Wednesday July 05,
1995
Tags reprogrammed dna, marketing guys, heavens sake, thank you, power of suggestion
Transcript
As they walk down a corridor, Alice says to Dilbert, "Maybe you shouldn't have told Stan you programmed his DNA through the LAN." Alice continues, "Those marketing guys believe anything. They even believe market research, for heaven's sake." As Stan approaches, Alice says, "There's no telling what the power of suggestion might do." Stan, whose facial features now resemble those of a weasel, says to Dilbert, "Well, thank you very much."
Monday July 10,
1995
Tags engineering, uses program, marketing, prodcut, urrelevant, engineers, same as marketeers, sitting in cave, rocks are edicble, recipes, business
Transcript
Stan in marketing works at his computer while Dilbert looks over his shoulder. Dilbert says, "Everybody in engineering uses this program I wrote. I think marketing should turn it into a product." Stan replies, "I wouldn't buy this." Dilbert tells Stan, "That's irrelevant because the target market would be engineers." Stan says, "Engineers think the same as marketeers." Dilbert replies, "If that were true we'd be sitting in a cave trying to decide if rocks are edible." Stan points to the computer and says, "You know, you could keep recipes on this."