Monthly Plan Comic Strips - Page 9
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516 Results for Monthly Plan
View 81 - 90 results for monthly plan comic strips. Discover the best "Monthly Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 08,
2000
Tags #internet start up, #business plan, #vc and b and b
Transcript
Sitting at his desk, the Boss thinks to himself, "I should create my own little internet start-up." The Boss continues thinking, "All I need is a business plan." As the Boss approaches Carol's desk, Carol replies "The V.C. are sick of B to B." The Boss thinks to himself, "The Vietcong are sick of breakfast in bed?"
Thursday August 10,
2000
Tags #billion dollar business plan, #sec investigates, #securities fraud, #hancuffed, #employees singing
Transcript
The Boss approaches Carol's desk and asks, "Have you finished my billion dollar business plan yet?" Carol answers, "Almost." Carol continues, "I'm up to the part where the S.E.C. investigates you for securities fraud." Carol says to the Boss, "I can't decide what the employees will be singing when you get handcuffed."
Tuesday August 15,
2000
Tags #disaster recovery plan, #help! help!, #hope to have budget
Transcript
Alice says, "Our disaster recovery plan goes something like this..." Alice points to a picture of a man screaming "Help! Help!" Alice continues, "Someday we hope to have a budget."
Thursday September 28,
2000
Tags #show plan, #budget, #resources, #weakness
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk and Dilbert says, "I'm sure your boss will increase the budget if you show him my plan." The Boss throws up his arms and says, "I just asked him for something else. I can't keep asking him for resources!" Dilbert asks, "So...you think that doing your job is a sign of weakness?" The Boss points at Dilbert and says, "Look what it did to you."
Wednesday December 13,
2000
Tags #eternity, #flaming worms, #if i die, #succession plan, #tiptoes, #what to do, #dogbert consults
Transcript
The Boss says to Dogbert, "I've been told to make a succession plan." The Boss says, "The plan should say what to do if I die." Dogbert says, "I can help." Dogbert says to The Boss, "And if Satan makes you stand in flaming worms up to your nose, try standing on your tiptoes for eternity."
Sunday January 31,
1999
Tags #strategic plan, #secret, #trust, #soabotage, #warranty, #chair
Transcript
Dilbert is in the boss' office. The boss says, "Make your report consistent with our strategic plan." Dilbert says, "What's out strategic plan?" The boss says, "It's a secret." Dilbert says, "Are you saying you don't trust me?" The boss says, "I don't think it's a coincidence that most employee sabotage is done by employees." Dilbert says, "How can I do my report if I don't know the strategy?! The boss says, "Okay, okay. I'll let you glance at it." The boss pulls a piece of paper out of his desk. The boss barely lets Dilbert see the paper. The boss says, "Time's up! That's long enough!" Dilbert says, "That's the warranty for your chair." The boss says, "Really? I've been managing to this for years."
Thursday January 25,
2001
Tags #discount brokerage, #estate plan, #pass away, #stay dead, #zombie, #bad gifts
Transcript
DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: A man on a cell phone says, "I need an estate plan for after I pass away." Dogbert, in his office and wearing a headset, says to the man, "Here's a plan: Stay dead. No one likes a zombie." The man on the cell phone asks, "What about gifts?" Dogbert's reply is, "Zombies make bad gifts."
Saturday March 24,
2001
Tags #dental plan, #golden handcuffs, #prickly panties, #retain best employess, #bowl of candy
Transcript
Catbert says to Wally, "We try to retain our best employees by giving them 'golden handcuffs.'" Catbert continues saying to Wally, "The rest of you will experience our other program, the one I call 'Prickly Panties.'" Wally, holding a large bowl, says to Dilbert, "Then he gave me a huge bowl of candy." Dilbert, pointing to his computer monitor, says, "Hey, they cut our dental plan again!"
Thursday November 22,
2001
Tags #elbonia, #business plan, #expanded offering, #pet grooming, #lingerie, #as agency, #bug in bikini
Transcript
Headline: In Elbonia. Two Elbonians point to a diagram. One says to Dilbert, "Our business plan was to sell mud to people who live in mud." The Elbonian continues, "Later we shrewdly expanded our offerings to include pet grooming and lingerie." The diagram is now a picture of lingerie. The Elbonian continues, "Frankly, I blame our ad agency for what happened next." He holds up a picture of a pig in lingerie.
Sunday January 23,
2000
Tags #cash balance, #pension plan, #make more competetive, #good for young emplyees, #not good for old, #change back
Transcript
Wally, Catbet, Dilbert, Alice and Asok are in a meeting. Catbert says: "We're changing to a cash balance pension plan." Catbert says: "It will make the company much more competitive." Asok is sitting between an elder co-worker and Alice, Asok says: "Yippee!!! A cash balance plan is good for young employees!" The older employee stands up and says angrily to Asok: "Oh, yeah? Well it's not so good for me!" The older employee says: "I demand that you change it back!" Asok screams: "No!" The older employee throws himself on top of Asok who raises his arms in defense. The older employee says: "I'll snap you like a dried twig, you little zygote!" Asok says: "Ouch! Stop clubbing me with your artificial hip!!" Wally, Catbert and Dilbert watch the fight with no reaction. Wally says to Catbert and Dilbert: "On the plus side, they do seem more competitive."