Office Tour Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for office tour comic strips. Discover the best "Office Tour" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #office efficency, #celebrated, #done forevre, #feel special

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources In order to improve office efficiency, all birthdays will be celebrated on the same day." "Do you mean one clebration per year, or just once and then we're done forever?" "Just once." "Well, at least I'll feel special once. What day is the celebration?" "Yesterday."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #losing empathy, #ceo two days, #decorating office, #more important, #healthcare, #varnished desk

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"Ratbert the CEO "I've only been CEO for two days and already I"m losing my empathy." "For example, I'm pretty sure that decorating my office is more important than your healthcare." "Which reminds me I plan to have varnished and used as my desk."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #underlings, #anything useful, #little people, #deadly accident, #vow, #in office, #listening to little people

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"Carol, don't let the underlings of my underling come into my office." "I can't learn anything useful by listening to the little people." "I renew my vow to lure you into a deadly accident!!" "Whoa! Whoa! Tell it to my underling."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #green consultant, #source of methane, #free source, #energy, #small office, #give, #butt, #hose, #pants, #health

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Dogbert the green consultant Dogbert: "Your coworkers have identified you as a source of methane." Dogbert: "If we capture this free source of energy we can power a small office building." Wally: "I give and I give."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #secretaries (office), #mindless and repetetive, #task, #spur creativity, #creative person, #dispose of body, #snide, #snarky

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Boss: Experts say that doing mindless and repetitive tasks is a good way to spur creativity. That means you must be the most creative person in the office. Did you come up with any ideas? Carol: Yup. So far, I've come up with over seven hundred ways to dispose of your body.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle workplaces, #lowers intelligence, #work ethic, #office, #boss

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Dilbert: I would be more productive with my own office. Studies show that cubicle workplaces lower intelligence. Boss: You can't be sure that's true because your cubicle lowered your intelligence. Dilbert: Wait... why does that make sense? Boss: Because I have an office.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fear, #managers & supervisors, #snake, #cublicle, #culture of fear, #motivate, #short term, #first step, #urinals, #electrified, #office plant, #pain, #tactics, #business

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Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Boss: Did you find the snake in your cubicle? Dilbert: What the...? Boss: I put it there because I'm trying to motivate you with a culture of fear. Dilbert: That only works in the short term! Boss: A leader takes the first step without knowing where the next step will be. So get to work, and by they way, one of the urinals is electrified. It's only set to stun, so don't be a baby about it. Wally: His office plant is clear.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #complaints, #private office, #threat, #technology

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Alice : Loud Howard insists on using his speak-phone in his cubicle. You have to do something about it. The Boss: "I'll move him to a private office that just became available. Problem solved. Alice: I need to punch you until we both forget what happened here." Asok: Gaaa!!! Dilbert: Spare the glasses.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #financial, #trouble, #new computer, #executive suite, #no visitors, #vacant offcies, #financial troubles, #old computer, #vacant office, #technology

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The boss: We need your new computer for the empty office in the executive suite. We don't want any visitors to see vacant offices. They might think we're having financial troubles. Dilbert: Why don't we put my old computer in the vacant office? My boss: That's crazy talk.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #open door policy, #office, #look over shoulder, #suspicious, #core systems, #key processes, #pointless question, #act randomly

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Wally says, "What's more important- our core systems or our key processes?" Wally says, "If there's no clear answer to that question, I'll continue to act randomly." The Boss says, "Get out of my office." Wally says, "The open door policy probably looked good on paper."