Quality Is Bad Comic Strips - Page 9
777 Results for Quality Is Bad
View 81 - 90 results for quality is bad comic strips. Discover the best "Quality Is Bad" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 31, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a conference table. Alice says, "I'd like to kick-off the project with the traditional bad-mouthing of the guy who worked on this before." Alice yells, "He's so slimy that slugs pour salt on HIM. His brain would rattle in a flea's skull!" Alice turns to Wally and says, "Oh, and I'll need your files." Wally answers angrily, "Fleas don't have 'skulls!!'"
Share April 10, 1995's comic on:
A co-worker shows Dilbert and Wally a keyboard. The co-worker says, "This ergonomic keyboard is our fist product developed under the 'Big Q' program." The man continues, "The 'Q' stands for quality." Dilbert says, "Speaking of Q . . . it's missing the letter Q." The man says angrily, "You sound just like our whiny customers." Dilbert says, I guess the 'Q' stands for 'uality.'"
Share April 28, 1995's comic on:
The caption says, "Bad news in 1985." Dilbert, the Boss and another man sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're replacing the company doctor with a registered nurse." The caption says, "Bad news in 1990." The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "We fired the nurse and put the aspirin and tourniquets in the vending machine." The caption says, "Bad news in 1995." The Boss holds a mallet behind his back as he says to Dilbert and Wally, "We've been asked to increase vending machine revenue by fifteen percent."
Share August 30, 1995's comic on:
The caption reads, "Dogbert tweaks Tina the brittle tech writer." Dogbert asks Tina, "What do you think of the movie 'Thelma and Louise?'" Tina responds, "I know what you're trying to say. You think all women are bad drivers. That's really the point of the movie, isn't it??" The caption reads, "If you're not offended yet, tune in tomorrow." Dogbert asks Tina, "The 'Three Stooges?'" Tina cries, "Why are ALL of the documentaries about MEN??!"
Share September 13, 1995's comic on:
Wally stands behind Dilbert's desk. Dilbert says, "I'm writing an e-mail to protest the new policy of making the employees empty their own trash at night." Dilbert continues, "It's stupid to have highly paid engineers doing unproductive tasks when we could be inventing the future!" Wally asks, "Are you coming to the 'Quality Faire?'" Dilbert answers, "No, this will take another hour."
Share October 06, 1995's comic on:
The corporate jet flies over the mountains. From the cockpit, Dogbert says, "This is Captain Dogbert with some good news and some bad news." Dogbert continues, "The good news is that we'll be hitting town ten minutes ahead of schedule . . ." Dogbert continues, "The bad news is we'll be hitting town."
Share October 18, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a woman's desk wearing a gas mask. He says, "I have failed in my attempt to subtly tell you that your perfume is killing people. I will try a direct approach." Dogbert removes the mask and screams, "Hey!! You smell bad!!! B-a-a-a-d!!" Dilbert collapses onto the desk and the woman asks, "Should I give you CPR?" Dogbert says, "No-o-o-o!! Let me die!!"
Share October 23, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a desk. A voice from heaven says, "We've decided to revoke your angel status. You're giving us all a bad name." Dogbert says, "Your problem is that you define 'healing' too narrowly. I'm making ugly people look attractive, and that's important, too." Wally approaches Dogbert's desk. Wally's head has been replaced with Dogbert's head. He asks Dogbert, "Is it too late to go back to my old look?" Dogbert replies, "Why? You're beautiful!"
Share October 30, 1995's comic on:
The caption says, "Headquarters." Three executives sit at a conference table. One says to the man next to him, "Hey, Chuck's looking unhappy today. What's the problem, big guy?" Chuck says, "All of my bad decisions are catching up to me. Could we do another reorg to cover my tracks?" The third executive says, "Yeah, I've got some bodies to bury, too." Back at the office, the Boss reads a document aloud to Dilbert and Wally, ". . . These changes will allow us to focus on our core business." Wally walks away saying, "Whoa! Let me get my reorg boots."
Share November 21, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert stands on a desk next to Ratbert, who is bending over. Dogbert points to Ratbert and says, "My consulting partner, Ratbert, will demonstrate how to inform employees that their jobs will be outsourced." As he kicks Ratbert off the desk and into a trash can, Dogbert says, "You're history. Scram." The Boss asks, "How do I get them all stooped over?" Dogbert replies, "I recommend a program of very bad ergonomics."