Stock Willplunge Comic Strips - Page 9
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157 Results for Stock Willplunge
View 81 - 90 results for stock willplunge comic strips. Discover the best "Stock Willplunge" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 02,
2004
Tags #energy, #million dollar salary, #secreatry, #shareholder meeting, #spank, #stock options, #turned ugly, #beat up, #bandages, #health
Transcript
CEO: The shareholder meeting turned ugly when I said we used all the profits to give ourselves stock options. They don't understand that I wouldn't work as hard if all I got was my million dollar case salary. Id barely have the energy ti spans my secretary. The boss: Too much info
Monday December 13,
2004
Tags #death, #down throat fist, #eat, #mouth, #punches, #ram fist grab pants, #stock analysts, #stranger, #threatens coworker, #boss unfazed, #violence, #medical
Transcript
Alice: I odnt know who you are, but I odnt like all of the questions you're asking. Im going to ram my fist down your throat , grab your pants and turn you inside out. Alice: eat, death stranger! The Boss: I see you've met our stock analyst,
Tuesday December 14,
2004
Tags #stock guy, #conflicts of interest, #knocked out, #fist down throat, #violence, #crime
Transcript
Alice: I didn't like the way he was looking at me. The Boss: "This isn't good." "He was the only stock analyst who had a "buy" recommendation on our company." Alice: "I think we're a "hold" now." The Boss: "Where will we find another one with so much conflict of interest??!"
Wednesday December 15,
2004
Tags #poison waffles, #stock, #insider trading, #conflicts of interest, #worthwhile, #banking business
Transcript
"I'll recommend your stock to the public, but first I need some conflicts of interest to make it worthwhile." "For example, I'll need to get your investment banking business." "Okay." "And you need to merge with my other client that makes poison waffles." "Okay."
Thursday December 16,
2004
Tags #own stock, #black berry, #dumps hares, #spiked, #profit, #buy a helicopter
Transcript
Tv stock analyst Do you own stock in the company you recommended? No, I used my blackberry ti dump my shares as soon as they spiked front my recommendation. This is very wrong now I'm using the profit to buy a helicopter.
Tuesday January 11,
2005
Tags #stock - picking software, #more feauture, #make hair grow, #bald guys, #test on rat, #butticks
Transcript
Dogbert: My stock-picking software needs more features. "I think I'll add a module that claims to make hair grow on bald guys. I'll first test it on a rat." Ratbert: "I feel a new one on my buttocks!" Dogbert: "That's all the proof I need."
Monday October 10,
2005
Tags #our annual report, #positive spin, #poor results, #stock plummenting, #can't afford us
Transcript
"Tina, I want you to write our annual report." "How should I explain our poor results?" "Just give it a positive spin." "If you have to ask why our stock keeps plummeting, you can't afford us."
Monday June 04,
2007
Tags #factory, #elbonia, #stock swap, #reached agreement, #rebels, #company value, #terrorits, #indirectly
Transcript
Dilbert: "I reached an agreement with the rebels so they won't attack our factory in Elbonia." "It's a stock swap. Every time they collect a ransom, the value of our company will increase." The Boss: "Doesn't that make us terrorists?" Dilbert: "Very indirectly."
Friday February 23,
2007
Tags #pr campaign, #stock price, #grossly inflated, #buy companies, #make money, #manage companies
Transcript
Dogbert: Thanks to my P.R. campaign, your stock price is grossly over-inflated." "Now you can use your stock to buy companies that actually make money." "After you manage those companies into the toilet, give me a jingle."
Thursday October 16,
2008
Tags #dogcart the ceo, #start rumors, #spread lies, #stock pop up, #stock options, #steal, #before computers
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert thinks, "Start some rumors, spread some lies..." Dogbert says, "Wait for the stock to pop up... exercise my stock options... bang!" Dogbert thinks, "How did people steal before computers?"