Taken Vacation Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

145 Results for Taken Vacation

View 81 - 90 results for taken vacation comic strips. Discover the best "Taken Vacation" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excellence in teaming, #nearly ready, #complete buy in, #make decsions, #squirrel migration patterns

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and another worker sit at a conference table. The worker says, "I'm happy to report that the 'Excellence in Teaming' read-out is nearly ready." The worker continues, "It's taken forty people from a dozen departments to complete the study. We finally got complete buy-in." Dilbert asks, "Is that the study of why we can't make decisions?" The worker responds, "Originally. But it evolved into more of a discussion of squirrel migration patterns."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #told stan, #marketing, #dna, #gullibility, #reverse process, #entire reality, #unverified, #anecdotes, #rumour, #alleged focus group, #becoming weasel, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I jokingly told Stan in marketing that I reprogrammed his DNA. He's so gullible that he's actually changing!" Dogbert suggests, "You must use his gullibility to reverse the process. Remember, his entire reality is shaped by unverified customer anecdotes." Dilbert tells Stan, "I heard a rumor of a story of an alleged focus group where a quote taken out of context indicates you're not becoming a weasel." Stan says, "I'm not?! Yipeee!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #santa, #christmas, #elves, #slavery, #christmas morning, #presents, #gifts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Santa! Santa: Merry Christmas, Dogbert! I'm glad you're up... I'm having a little trouble with your christmas list. In your letter you say you want to be named supreme ruler of earth. Dogbert: Is that a problem? Santa: Frankly, my workshop is more oriented toward small consumer goods... Dogbert: Can I have an elf? Dilbert: Has, G.I. Joe taken up ballet, or is this something I don't want to know about?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bob, #bob's classy clothes, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #retail, #salesman, #shrink, #washer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks into "Bob's Classy Clothes." Dilbert wears a pair of huge pants. He asks the salesperson, ". . . And you're quite certain these will shrink to fit?" The salesman replies, "You have my word as a retail salesman." Dilbert walks out of the store with a shopping bag. Dilbert shows Dogbert the pants. Dogbert says, "You were taken." Dilbert replies, "No, they shrink in the wash." Dilbert stands in front of the washing machine. Dogbert asks, "Will they fit now?" Dilbert replies, "Like a glove . . ." Dilbert holds the shrunken pants on his hand. He thinks, "Like a glove with two fingers."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #cult, #connotation, #morons, #lives, #armchair, #bad things

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I think you've taken your cult idea too far." Dogbert sits in a chair with a crown on his head. Dogbert asks, "Who says it's a cult?" Dilbert replies, "YOU said it's a cult!" Dogbert says, "That word has a bad connotation." Dogbert says, "I prefer to think of it as a bunch of morons who have nothing better to do with their lives."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #do math, #idiot, #monday and fridays, #shocking, #sick days, #idiot savant

View Transcript

Transcript

The secretary reads a document and says to the Boss, "Oh my! This is shocking!" The Boss asks, "What?" The secretary says, "40% of all sick days taken by your staff are Fridays and Mondays!" The Boss walks away saying, "What kind of idiot do they think I am?" The secretary says, "Not an idiot savant. They can do math."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #going on vacation, #compile our inputs, #highest human potential

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk with Dogbert. A voice yells, "Hey, Dilbert! You'll never be hungry as long as you're workin' in this strip . . ." Billy from "Family Circus" says, ". . . 'Cause you're sure of THREE SQUARES every day!" Billy continues, "Some of us hafta keep goin' around in circles!" Dilbert says into the telephone, "Security?" (This strip was drawn by Bill Keane, creator of "Family Circus," for April Fools' Day.)

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #life insurance policy, #pay premiums, #collect insurance, #valuable, #company, #don't like cats, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert and Wally sit at a table. Catbert says, "The company has taken out a life insurance policy on you, Wally." Catbert continues, "We pay the premiums and we collect the insurance when you die." Wally looks at the policy and asks, "Is this because I'm so valuable to the company?" Catbert replies, "It's because we think you'll be more valuable dead." Wally says, "This is exactly why I don't like cats."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blueprints, #new cubicle, #window view, #hot by window, #breeze

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds his box of stuff and Wally holds the office floorplan. Wally says, "According to the blueprints, your new cubicle has a support beam in it." Dilbert stands in his cubicle which is taken up mostly by a huge support beam. He thinks, "At least I have a window view." At home, Dilbert looks disheveled and sweats. He says, "It's one hundred-eight degrees by the window but at least there's a breeze from the people who walk by and laugh." Dogbert sits on the arm of the couch and says, "Don't let me slow your search for someone who's interested."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #human resources, #deadlines, #embarrassing, #fuzzy, #laughed, #embarrasing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert peers over the cubicle wall at Alice and says, "Alice you have to use your vacation time or you'll lose it." Alice grimaces as Catbert says, "But if you take time off, you'll miss your deadlines." Catbert laughs wickedly. Catbert walks away, his normally smooth fur is puffed out. Catbert thinks, "This is embarrassing. I laughed myself fuzzy."