500 Million Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

145 Results for 500 Million

View 81 - 90 results for 500 million comic strips. Discover the best "500 Million" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2005's comic on:


Tags #board meeting, #dipping employees, #varnish, #voted to fire you, #100 million, #1 million year

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert the CEO "The board has learned that you've been dipping employees in varnish and using them as office furniture." "We voted to fire you. Your severence package includes $100 million, the corporate jet, perpetual benefits and a salary of $1 million per year." "Bu-ya!" "He's taking it well."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #failed ceo, #worth 100 million, #all reverse, #head in glass, #successful engineer, #kind of funny

View Transcript

Transcript

RAtbert: You're a successful engineer and I'm a failed CEO. It's kind of funny that I'm worth $100 million and you're not. " It's funny because it's all reverse of how it should be." Dilbert: "It's funny because your head wouldn't normally fit inside a glass."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2005's comic on:


Tags #board meeting, #outsourcing, #ceo job, #26 million, #elbonian ceo, #good guy, #consulting contract

View Transcript

Transcript

Board Meeting "I recommend outsourcing your CEO's job and saving the company $26 million per year." "For $4 per year you can hire an Elbonian CEO who is just as good as this guy." "Now do you understand why you should have renewed my consulting contract?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2005's comic on:


Tags #10 million dollars, #company, #four people, #weather website, #web monitoring, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, this year you did the work of four people and made over $10 million for the company." "But according to our web monitoring software, you used company resources to look at a weather web site." "Thief."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Our CEO got a $400,000,000 bonus this year. Can I get that too?" "Wally, he got that much because he's a million times more important than you." "Fair enough. Can I have the $400 that you say I'm worth?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Lobbyist "For a million dollars I can have the government include your industrial waste in the recommended food pyramid." "For another million I'll have Congress authorize huge tax breaks for soulless, Blackberry-using weasels with coffee breath." "I just want to hug you!" "That's another million."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Executive Compensation Review Board "How much should we pay our CEO if he just shows up for work?" "FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS!!!" honk honk "The clown makes a good argument." "Aye!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Our sales guy vastly underbid a job. Now it's my project to install the system in a way that's profitable. "Blame your customer for underspecifying the features then charge her through the nose for change orders." "Three million dollars for an electrical plug?" "The base model uses a potato battery."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Our company has decided to try something new." Six Sigma "New? Six Sigma was developed in the 80s." "It's new to us." "Why don't we jump on a fad that hasn't already been widely discredited?" "That way the false hope might sustain us." "There's nothing wrong with Six Sigma. All it does is reduce defects!" "Let's see...Fortune Magazine sys...blah, blah...Most companies that used Six Sigma have trailed the S&P 500." "Sorry I'm late. What did I miss while I was innovating?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I found a way to save a million dollars by spending only $10,000." "The $10,000 would come out of my budget but the savings would go into someone else's budget. It's not feasible." "Our stockholders might disagree." "That's why they aren't invited to meetings."