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FREE BLOOD PRESSURE SCREENING TODAY blod pressure screening, below average, more work, Dilbert and the boss are in line to have their blood pressure taken. The boss is holding some folders. Over the head of the woman who is taking Dilbert's blood pressure hangs a board that reads: "Free blood pressure screening today" The woman says to Dilbert: "135 over 88." The boss hands some folders to Dilbert and says: "You're bellow the company average. Here's some more work." Dilbert looks surprised. The boss is behind Dilbert, who is walking all worked up and angry. The boss says to Dilbert: "How long did you think you could get away with that?"
Ted, Dilbert, Alice and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Ted says: "I quantified our marketing strategy because you insisted." Ted holds up a sheet of paper with lists on it and says: "I listed the pros and cons on this sheet." Ted says to Dilbert: "Then I added up the columns." Ted puts the sheet of paper on the table and says: "The pros outnumber the cons, so we're going forward." Dilbert has the sheet of paper in his hands now and says to Ted: "Let's see. Your cons include...unhealthy and unprofitable. Dilbert keeps reading from the sheet of paper and says: "Your pros are...waffles, eggs, bananas and milk." Ted says to Dilbert: "Oops. That might be my grocery list." Ted gets angry and shakes his arm with the sheet of paper up and down and screams to Dilbert: "You fool! I told you quantification never works!!"
Tina pokes her head into Asok's cubicle and says to him: "Asok, can you help me install an ethernet card?" Asok says to Tina: "Tina, I am not your personal tech support." Tina says: "But you know how to do it and I don't." Asok says: "Well...that is true." Tina says to Asok: "Could you carry the PC to my new cubicle? It's too heavy for me." Tina says: "Someday I'll repay you by teaching you about semicolons." Asok says: "How come I have many useful skills and you have none?" Tina answers: "I guess I'm just lucky." Asok carries the computer looking angry.
The boss says to Ed: "Ed, the experts say managers should over-communicate during times of uncertainty." The boss screams at Ed: "You're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired!." Ed looks surprised. The boss says to Ed: "I'll come back in ten minutes to do that again." Ed looks angry.
Dilbert is in the boss's office and he says to the boss: "Another company offered me twenty percent more. Will you match it? The boss answers: "No, I prefer to hire someone who is loyal, even if I have to pay forty percent more." Dilbert shakes his hands looking angry and says: "Managing is supposed to be a science!" The boss holds up his hands in front of him and says: "My mime wall blocks your sound."
The Boss and Ted are walking together, carrying their briefcases. Ted says: "Let me do all the talking to the customer." The Boss replies: "Check!" The Boss, Ted, and the customer are sitting at a table. The Boss says to the customer: "You'd better make up your mind fast. We plan to discontinue that product any day." Walking back from the meeting, the Boss says to Ted, who is turned away from the Boss and looks angry, "Well, excuse me for trying to fill a lull in the conversation."
The boss tells Dilbert and Paul Tergeist: "Put together a demo of our new product. Our CEO wants to see it." Dilbert says to the Boss: "My partner is channeling the angry energy of a thousand dead souls." The boss replies: "Why can't you be more like that?"
Extremely angry, Alice approaches the sadist who sits at his computer. She rolls up her sleeves and says, "Okay,sadist, it's time to meet the fist of death. A note from the author forewarns his readers that nothing bad or violent happens to the sadist. The author's note reads: If you are the sort of person who is influenced by comic strips, I assure you nothing bad or violent happens next. Alice and the sadist discuss their differences and become lifelong friends. As Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit together eating lunch, Dilbert asks Alice "What was in that big bag I helped you drag to the dumpster?"
Wally says to Dogbert the consultant, "No one uses the intranet collaboration software you sold us." Dogbert replies, "Your employees are defective. I recommend cat scans." Catbert examines Wally's head. "This one is defective too", Catbert says. The Boss yells, "Next in line!"
THE AD AGENCY: Pete Peters, holding up a picture of a cat, says, "This cat will say something." Pete Peters, holding up a picture of another cat, says, "Then this other cat will say, 'Yeah, right.' It's like sarcasm." The Boss howls with laughter, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Dilbert says to Wally, "This explains so much."