B Priorities Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

96 Results for B Priorities

View 81 - 90 results for b priorities comic strips. Discover the best "B Priorities" comics from Dilbert.com.

Selfie Camera

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Selfie Camera - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #inventions, #priorities, #selfie, #social media, #selfie camera, #car steering wheels, #ion powered car, #share, #slefies, #facebook, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I heard you invented a selfie camera for car steering wheels. Dilbert: Not exactly. I invented an ion-powered flying car, but all anyone cares about is the selfie camera in the steering wheel. Wally: Can you share the selfies on Facebook? Dilbert: Gaaa!

Fifty Tips For Success

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fifty Tips For Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #career advice, #obliviousness, #secret, #success, #tech millionaire

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: A 27-year-old tech millionaire published his list of fifty things you need to do to succeed. Dilbert: In other words, he has no idea why he succeeded. Asok: Sure he does. He even has a chart of his top thirty... priorities. Okay, I hear it now.

Ten Things We Look For In Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ten Things We Look For In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiring, #qualifications, #interview, #job interview, #outsmart

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We look for ten qualities when we hire. Man: Ten? I'm looking for an employer who knows how to set priorities. Boss: He was too good for us.

Dilbert Regulates Mood With Stimulator

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Regulates Mood With Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #stimulation, #priorities, #assignments, #deadline, #invention, #mood, #picnic, #social anxiety

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a way to regulate my mood with an external brain stimulator. Boss: You're supposed to be organizing the company picnic. Dilbert: Did you serious expect me to do that without an external brain stimulator?

Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gold, #apocalypse, #money, #Food, #priorities, #hunger, #fool

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You'll be sorry when the world economy collapses. But I'll be okay because I hoarded gold at my house. Alice: On day two, you'll trade all of it for a sandwich. Boss: Only if I'm hungry.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social, #party, #invite, #relationships, #friend, #friendship, #test, #popularity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm having some people over to my house after work. Would you like to come? Woman: Who else is coming? Dilbert: Seven people said maybe, and one said he would get back to me. I think that shows a lot of interest. So how about it? Can you come? Woman: It depends on whether my sister needs a ride to the airport. Dilbert: When will you know? Woman: I'll text you. Dogbert: Are you sad that no one came? Dilbert: No, I was just A-B testing to see if I still hate all of them.

Clarifying Our Strategies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Clarifying Our Strategies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #speaking, #confusion, #language, #obliviousness, #managers, #fake, #faking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hope that clarifies our strategy. Questions? Dilbert: From what you said, I can't tell if we're in the hardware or software business. Boss: We're B-to-B. Dilbert: How much do you with that meant something?

Wally Puts It On His List

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Puts It On His List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #priorities, #work, #motivation, #teamwork

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Can you do that for me? Wally: I'll put it on my list. Woman: Near the top? Wally: Depends on your frame of reference. Woman: Should I give up now? Wally: Quitter.

Asok Learns To Rank Priorities

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Learns To Rank Priorities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #priorities, #Advice, #hate, #misanthrope, #misanthropy, #organization

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm overworked because I don't know how to set priorities. Alice: Try ranking your tasks by how much you hate the people who asked for your help. Asok: What if I don't hate anyone? Alice: That problem solves itself over time.

3 D Printer Will Save Millions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
3 D Printer Will Save Millions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #altruism, #money, #profit, #big business, #priorities, #morals, #life

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a 3-D printer for the poor that can create any kind of generic drug or medical device. It will save millions. Boss: ...of dollars? Dilbert: People. Boss: Pass.