Baby Eater Comic Strips - Page 9

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99 Results for Baby Eater

View 81 - 90 results for baby eater comic strips. Discover the best "Baby Eater" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2013's comic on:


Tags #dating, #frustration, #relations between the sexes, #modern world, #purpose of men, #money, #bad jokes, #faltulence, #useless men, #pondering on importance, #relationships

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Woman: I'm not sure what function men serve in the modern world. My job pays well, so I have all the money I need. If something in my house breaks, I either fix it or pay someone to fix it. If I want a baby, I'll call a fertility doctor. In today's world, men are little more than carriers of bad jokes and flatulence. My gardener mows my lawn. Dilbert: I get it!!! Dogbert: That is disturbing. Dilbert: Not compared to the alternatives.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2013's comic on:


Tags #baby, #falls, #game, #management fast track, #money, #money bags, #punch wessel, #rescuing plastic baby, #test, #weasel, #greed, #failed test

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Catbert: Your first test on the management fast track involves rescuing a plastic baby and a bag of money from a weasel. You must punch the weasel then catch the money and the baby before they reach the ground. I found our next CEO. Wally: Wait...say this instructions again.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2014's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #ignorance (knowledge), #project team, #forrest fire, #dropping baby, #analogy, #available people, #stop progress

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Boss: Alice, I'm adding Jeff to your project team. Alice: That's like trying to put out a forest fire by dropping a baby on it. Boss: I'm available to help, too. Alice: Okay, your job is to keep Jeff from doing anything.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2014's comic on:


Tags #consumes resources, #cruelty, #gentle with crticism, #software, #soils itself, #technology, #tradition, #useless blob, #engineering

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Coworker: Tradition requires you to disparage every technology decision made before you got involved. But please be gentle with your criticism of my software. It's like my baby. Dilbert: If you mean your software is a useless blob that consumes resources and soils itself, we are in agreement.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #internet, #comment, #jerk, #forum, #argument, #anger, #frustration, #language, #technology

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Dick, From The Internet. Dick: Would you lie to a monster to keep a baby alive? Dilbert: Yes. Dick: Ha! You admit you're a liar! Dilbert: Not most of the time. Dick: Ooh, not most of the time. Ha, ha! Look who's trying to walk it back now! Apologize for hating babies most of the time! Dilbert: I never said that. Dick: Wow. Pathological much?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dating, #overanalyzing, #asking out, #relationships

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Woman: Do you want to go to dinner and a movie with me on Friday? Dilbert: That plan is poorly conceived. The best time to watch a movie is also the best time to eat. And what are the odds we want to see the same movie? You're a picky eater, so it would be a nightmare to decide where we both want to eat. One of us would have to compromise, and I assume it would be me. I'm offended by your offer to suboptimize my Friday experience. Woman: Do you have a better option? Dilbert: Nope. See you Friday.

Wally Gets A Man Cave

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Wally Gets A Man Cave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #nursing, #babies, #man cave, #deception, #children, #office policy, #Family

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Wally: We should have a private lactation room like other companies. Alice: Yes, we should. Boss: No one in my group is nursing a baby. Wally: What about visitors? Alice: Right. Wally: Thanks for helping me get my man cave at the office. Alice: What?

Wally Goes To His Man Cave

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Wally Goes To His Man Cave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #lactation, #man cave, #nursing, #deception, #baby, #trick

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Wally: I secretly turned our unused lactation room into my man cave. Dilbert: What if someone sees you go in? Tina: You said only once, right? Wally: Once per day.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #scam, #death, #reincarnation, #con, #con artist, #ghost, #medical

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Dogbert: I'm starting a new business selling clothes to ghosts. My garments are made of the finest ectoplasm. Dilbert: Ghosts don't have money. Dogbert: They don't need money. I'm using a life insurance business model. If you pay me until you die, I will keep your ghost well-dressed for eternity. I also offer reincarnation services. Leave all of your stuff to me when you die and I'll give it back to you when I find the baby that got your soul. Dilbert: You'll be in trouble if your customers realize you're running a scam. Dogbert: If dead people start complaining, we've both got bigger problems than my scams.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #analogy, #false equivalence, #frustration

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Narrator: The bad analogy guy. Dilbert: And that's why I want to rewrite that part of the software. Man: That's like closing the barn door after the horse gets out. Dilbert: No, it isn't anything like that. I just think the current software could bet better. Man: So it's like throwing away the baby with the bathwater. Dilbert: No, it is not like that even a little! Man: You sound exactly like Hitler. That can't be a coincidence. Dilbert: Nothing you say makes sense! Man: That's like saying the earth is flat.