Behavior And Fun Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for behavior and fun comic strips. Discover the best "Behavior And Fun" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #senior vice president, #impress, #chummy with intern, #slacking slacker, #good motivation

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The Boss: The new senior vice president will be at my meeting, I hope to impress him with my leadership skills. Uh- oh underling alert. I can't be seen getting chummy with an intern, Pleas don't try to make conversation don't don't don't don't Asok: did you do anything fun this weekend? The boss: Here he comes! The boss: get back to work you slacking slacker!!! Good motivating! if he blows ho sons with every necktie. You're my new vice president.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #become irreplaceable, #escaped felon, #gain trust, #biggest cutsomers

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Wall: "I need to become irreplaceable so I can't be fired for my behavior." "I'll gain the trust of our biggest customer so they'll only deal with me." "I probably shouldn't say this, but everyone in my company except me is an escaped felon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #indeispoensible, #comapny, #outrageously annoying, #pretty annoying, #crushed ice chomping

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I've decided to become indispensible to the company. "Indispensible employees can get away with outrageously annoying behavior." "You're already pretty annoying." "I've been reading up on crushed ice chomping."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #core values, #integrity, #value, #honesty, #excellence, #inherent conflicts, #fund na dpassionate, #all of them, #hygiene

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The Boss: "Our core values are service, intergrity, respect, teamwork, responsibility, trust, diversity, value, honesty, fun, passion, fairness and excellence." wally: "How should we deal with the inherent conflicts? I mean, what if I want to be irresponsible in a fun and passionate way?" The Boss: "You have to do all of them." "I notice that hygiene didn't make the list.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #director of marketing, #ideas, #undercuts authority, #boss, #putrid boss, #bullying, #initative, #hammered

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"I have a great idea." "I was chatting with the director of marketing and we...." "WHAT?!!" "Never discuss ideas with the director of marketing! Never!" "Erk!" "You work for me! When you talk to others managers it undercuts my authority!" "If I accept ideas from another manager, it's just like he's my boss!" "Amazing! Did you know that your behavior is described on page 27 of the 'Putrid Boss' Book? It's the chapter on killing initiative and bullying!" "That's fascinating. Now let me show you something that isn't in the book." "It looks like someone has been showing initiative." "Please shut up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pension fund, #solevent, #workplace safety, #ceo, #smoking is cool

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"Management is pleased to announce that it has a plan to make your pension fun solvent." "In unrelated news, the guidelines for workplace safety have been relaxed." "Our CEO reminds you that smoking is cool."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #catch and release, #ceo seminar, #hurt fish, #inform life, #new spouse, #philosophy, #set free, #spin off compnay, #without making decisions, #be decisive

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"Welcome to Dogbert's catch-and-release CEO seminar." "Catch-and-release is more than a way to hurt fish for entertainment." "It's a philosophy that will inform your entire life." "For example, when you acquire a new company, wait a few years and then spin it off." "When you catch a new spouse, wait a few years and then set it free." Boot! "When you golf, hit that ball into a hole and then take it out." "Your ultimate goal is to look decisive without making any real decisions." "Good seminar. It makes fishing more fun when you know it hurts them!" "Ouch!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Hey, I'm having a Schadenfreude party. Would you like to come?" "Sure! I don't know what Schadenfreude means, but it sounds fun." "Too bad you're not invited, loser." "Ouch." "Best party ever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Have fun working while I'm home chewing on your computer cables." "I'll probably start with a USB cable appetizer, then do the Ethernet cable with blue cheese dressing." "Then I'm going to wrap my colon around some coax." "I envy you, and it's disturbing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #donate, #campaign, #drill for oil, #opppenets lawn, #bureau of alcohol tobacco firearms, #Politics

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Dogbert: "donate to my campaign, and I'll let you drill for oil in my opponent's lawn." "And I'll appoint you to run the bureau of alcohol, tobacco and firearms." Man: "Is that as fun as it sounds?" Dogbert: "Not for your neighbors."