Black Magic Comic Strips - Page 9

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85 Results for Black Magic

View 81 - 85 results for black magic comic strips. Discover the best "Black Magic" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #apple, #criticism, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #steve jobs, #work

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Boss: I've decided to be more like Steve Jobs. I want all of you to work day and night or else I will humiliate you in front of your peers. Dilbert: I quit. Alice: I quit. Boss: Would it work better if I wore a black shirt?

Centralizing The Decentralized

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Centralizing The Decentralized - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #value

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Boss: I need to randomly change something so it seems as if being a manager is a real job. Maybe I should centralize all the functions I decentralized last year. Catbert: Or you could find a way to add value. Boss: I'm not magic.

Dogbert Designs Headphones

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Dogbert Designs Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2020's comic on:


Tags #design, #business, #headphones, #maximum, #customer, #annoyance, #charging, #port, #guess, #incorrect, #frustration, #fit, #customers, #ship, #user

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dogbert: i've designed these over-ear headphones for maximum customer annoyance. the charging port is only on one side, so the user has a fifty percent chance of guessing wrong. and the charger only fits if you put it right-side up. to increase the frustration, i made the plug look the same on both sides. best of all, the plug is so poorly designed that half the time it doesn't seem to fit, even when you put it in correctly. i made the headphones black, so you can't easily find the charger hole in low light. ninety percent of users will be cursing us every time they try to recharge. customers won't know any of this until after they purchase. boss: ship it.

Should Have Done It Sooner

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Should Have Done It Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #dollars, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #patch, #payroll, #problem, #raise, #savings, #software, #technology, #years

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dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.

Trick Question

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Trick Question  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #interview, #question, #trick, #blm, #black lives matter, #dismissed, #employment

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catbert: we added the following trick question to our interview process... do black lives matter? interviewee: yes, of course. catbert: say more about that. interviewee: i think all... catbert yelling and pointing: dismissed!