Bought On Line Comic Strips - Page 9
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Dogbert sits at a table with Dilbert. Dogbert wears his crown and holds a scepter. Dilbert has a screw driver and is tinkering with a device. Dogbert says, "Since I'm the major breadwinner here, I decided to name the house "Dogbert Manor." And I've decided to name you Jennifer because I like the name. Dilbert examines the device. Dilbert says, "I don't know why I bought this. It's just a box full of electronics that you can look at." Dogbert says, "Shut up Jennifer."
The Boss holds a letter and says, "Carol, how do I address an envelope?" Carol, his secretary, sings, "I'll do it." Carol explains to Dilbert, "I'm training him to be helpless." She says, "It's part of my master plan to eliminate him." Carol says, "I do everything for him. Soon he'll lose his ability to solve small problems alone." She says, "Then I'll 'accidentally' book him on a one-way trip to South Korea." Carol says, "Before he goes, I'll tell him they have a death penelty for speaking English." Carol laughs a maniacal laugh and says, "We'll never see him again. Buwahaha!" Dilbert walks off and says, "It's worth a shot." The Boss calls from his office and says, "Carol, how do I dial for an outside line?" Carol says, "I'll do it."
Dilbert stands at open door. Phone man stand outside. Phone repairman says, "I'm here to install your ISDN phone line." Repairman says, "This will only take twenty minutes...unless something unexpected happpens." Dilbert says, "Great because I need it tomorrow." Repairman says, "Uh-oh...your wire goes into a little hole in the wall."
Installing an ISDN line Telephone repairman is sitting next to the phone jack. Repairman says, "First we need to make sure your phone line is connected to our network." Repairmen hands Dilbert a cordless phone. Repairmen says, "I'll yank the wire while you listen for a "whump" sound at the central office." Central office full of pipes. Wires spill out of one of the pipes. Man holding one of the wires is listening to the phone which is off the hook. Over the phone Dilbert is heard. Dilbert says, "I heard something."
Installing and ISDN Line Phone repairman says, "These digital phone lines require a very different instillation process." Dilbert is seated on his couch. Repairman says, "You'll have to show me your SPIDS now." Dogbert sits on table. Dogberts asks, "What happened after the slap fight?" Dilbert's shirt is ripped, Dilbert's hair stand on end. Dilbert says, "Then it got awkward."
The Boss says, "From now on, we'll only hire people with masters degrees from the top colleges." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at the conference table. Wally says,"I don't have a masters degree from a top college. I'm insulted by this new policy." The Boss holds up a picture of Wally with a line above his head. The Boss says, "And new hires must be this tall to work here." Wally yells, "HEY!!"
Dilbert says, ",,,The North Elbonians stole our military technology. We think they're building a huge laser to use against us." Dogbert says, "Ask Tina the Tech Writer to create a user manual for them. Remind Tina how the North Elbonians treat women." Caption: Later in North Elbonia. The Elbonians line up in front of the barrel of a large laser gun. The guy in front reads "Okay... the timer is set... we're lined up in single file.. now we sing a Helen Reddy song."
The garbage man sits on the ground talking to Ratbert. He syas, "...As your consciousness passes through each universe, you tend to follow a line of probability." Ratbert writes this down in a spiral notebook. He says, "Got it." The garbage man says, "And since it's more probable that matter is near other matter, you have the illusion of gravity as your consciousness moves toward the norm." He waves his arm in the air to demonstrate. The garbage man says, "Did you get all that, Ratbert?" Ratbert says, "Hey, I'm not stupid. Does this Norm guy have a last name?"
Dilbert says, "Did you go for a walk at lunch?" The Boss is wearing an over coat. He says, "Not exactly." The Boss hangs his coat on a caot rack and says, "I got a bomb threat. I didn't tell anyone else, just in case it was a hoax. Dilbert says, "It was only yesterday that I was saying my morale couldn't be any lower." The Boss sits behind his desk and says, "I bought a lottery ticket to increase the potential irony."
In the company cafeteria, Dilbert and Wally are eating lunch. Dilbert says, "I'd quit and become and entrepreneur, but I don't know how they handle such huge risks." Wally, his mouth full of food, says, "Denial, probably." Alice walks up with her lunch tray and says, "We got bought by our archrival this morning." Alice sits down and says, "Their CEO says he plans to be as 'humane' as possible." Dilbert says, "He sounds nice." Wally says, 'Maybe we'll get bonuses!"