Class Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for class comic strips. Discover the best "Class" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career day, classroom, guest speaker, Dilbert, engineering, tells all, explaining things, to idiots, make decisions, misinterpreting, massic=ve problems, rumors overwhelm, assign blame, unpopular

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Career Day Teacher: "Class, today Dilbert will tell us what a career in engineering is all about." Dilbert: "My job involves explaining things to idiots.""Then the idiots make decisions based on misinterpreting what I said." "Then it is my job to try and fix the massive problems caused by the bad decisions." "Eventually rumors overwhelm facts, and I give up." "In the final phase, I assign blame to a unpopular coworker." "So whatever you do in life don't be unpopular." Teacher: "Don't listen to him!" Dilbert: "Said the unpopular teacher."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags online budget approval, process making changes, classes, approval process, budget varience, broken system, charges, cubicle, billable project, exaggerating accomplishments

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Dilbert: Out online budget approval system isn't working. There's a process for making changes to the system, but I don't know it. I could take a class to learn the process, but there's also a process for approving classes. I could learn the process for approving classes, but I'd still need approval for a budget variance to take the class. And I can't get that because the online budget approval system is broken. I can't even have this conversation because it will make me charge too much of my engineering time to administrative overhead. So I'll go sit in my cubicle and pretend to be thinking about a billable project. It looks like I'll be exaggerating my accomplishments again this year.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags class, less useless, carry coffee cups, work faster, two hands

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Wally says, "I took a class to learn how to be less useless." Wally says, "Now I carry twice as many coffee cups wherever I go." Carol says, "Does that make you work faster?" Wally says, "I only have two hands."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags colossal waste, different light, less usless, unimportant, staff meetings

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Wally says, "I took a class on being less useless. Now I see the world in a different light." Wally says, "For example, I recognize these staff meetings as colossal wastes of time, but there's nothing I can do about them." Wally says, "Now my helplessness makes my uselessness seem unimportant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vacation, delegating, excuses, volunteering, cruel, mean

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The boss says, "Alice, you'll be acting manager next week while I'm on vacation." Alice says, "I can't. I'll be in a training class all week." The boss says, "Dilbert, you'll?" Dilbert says, "I'll be at a customer site all week." The boss says, "Carol..." Carol says, "I'll be getting my tubes tied." The Boss says, "Asok..." Asok says, "I'm going to my grandmother's funeral in India." Wally says, "Yes? Is there something you need me to do?" The Boss says, "Attend a funeral in India. Tell everyone you're Asok and you had a horrible accident." The boss says, "Tell them the acid destroyed your hair and your personality." Wally says, "That took an ugly turn."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, anger management, argument, annoyed, business

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Catbert says, "I'm sending you to an anger management class because of your recent outburst against your boss." Dilbert says, "When one is being abused by a figure of authority, anger is a healthy and appropriate response." Catbert says, "Right. We want less of that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sitting, meeting, training, raising hand, firing, confused, surprised, business

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The Boss says, "Who needs training to keep up with technology trends?" Ted says, "Me." The Boss says, "You're fired. I only want people who already know how to do their jobs." Ted says, "I did not see that coming." Wally says, "They don't have a class to fix that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public speaking class, meeting, habits, personalities, robots, Fun, sarcastic, business

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The Boss says, "I'm sending all of you to a public speaking class." The Boss says, "They will rid you of your nervous habits? and, with any luck, your personalities too. You will become indistinguishable from robots." Alice says, "Is that as fun as it sounds?" Asok says, "Get out of my head!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags date, restaurant, menu, pottery class, sarcastic, art, whittle, spoons

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Woman says, "Maybe we could take a pottery class together." Dilbert says, "Sure. I love acquiring unattractive dishware in an expensive and inefficient way." Woman says, "It's called art." Dilbert says, "Maybe we could whittle some art spoons too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags class, personality, communication skills, shake hand, coffee cup, psychology

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The Boss says, "I signed you up for a class to try and get rid of that thing you have." Dilbert says, "What thing?" The Boss says, "The thing. You know. The thing that makes you the way you are." Dilbert says, "My personality?" The Boss says, "Exactly. But we call it communication skills because it sounds less rude."