Closet For Months Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

146 Results for Closet For Months

View 81 - 90 results for closet for months comic strips. Discover the best "Closet For Months" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"You've had fifteen jobs in two months. How can I be sure you're not a job hopper?" "Maybe I change jobs a lot. And maybe I have gigantic rabbit ears. But does that make me a hopper?" "Okay, okay, you're hired." "I am so sick of this place!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

What are you going to wear to Ted's wedding? "Whatever comes up in the rotation." "Then she shrieked some nonsense about spending six months shopping for shoes and started to punch me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I've been trying for six months to solve this engineering problem. It might be impossible. "Just turn it sideways and it will fit perfectly." "Okay...Now I have to kill you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor, #wait to buy, #new model, #sales, #negotiate, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: When do you expect to come out with a new model? Vendor: In about two months. Dilbert: I'll wait and buy the new model. Vendor: Did I say two months? I meant never. Dilbert: Never? That must mean your company is going out of business and won't support this product. Vendor: What's a length of time between two months and never that would cause you to buy now?" Dilbert: One year. Vendor: Our new model comes out in a year. Dilbert: I'll wait until then. Vendor: You're the worst customer ever."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contract changes, #last month, #negotiate, #not authorized, #hope to wear you down

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "You didn't make any of the contract changes we agreed on last month." Ted: "That's how I negotiate." "I'm not authorized to make any changes to the contract." "And the executives who have that power will think I'm not doing my job if I ask them to do it." "So I agree to everything you ask, then I don't put any of it in the contract." "Over the course of several months I hope to wear you down and make you sign the contract as is." Dilbert: "Can you at least change section three the way I asked? Ted: "Sure. No problem." "I'll see you in a month."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #six months, #task, #simple task, #continuous cahnges, #unclear communication, #short work days, #being lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Why did it take six months to complete this simple task?" Dilbert: "Because of your continuous changes, your unclear communication, and your short work days." The boss: "I'm looking for something more along the lines of you being lazy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #security consulatant, #without id, #badge, #strip search, #confiscate wallet, #lock him janitors closet, #extreme, #living on mop water

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the security consultant Dogbert: "If you see someone without an ID badge..." "...Strip search him, confiscate his wallet, and lock him in the janitor's closet until he starves!" The boss: "That seems a bit extreme." Dogbert: "You're about one minute away from living on mop water."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #private moon shuttle, #3 months, #doom inevitable, #scapegoat, #blame, #project, #never getting finsihed

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "My company wants me to design a private moon shuttle in three months. Doom is inevitable." Dogbert: "What you need is a scapegoat to blame for the project never getting finished. I'll send one over." Dilbert: "I was almost done, and then this idiot comes along."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company secrets, #Dilbert, #elbonia, #laptop, #mittens, #spies stole

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonia An Elbonian says, "Our spies stole this laptop from an employee named Dilbert." The Elbonian says, "Ha ha! We will find his company's secrets and use them!" Another Elbonian says, "heh-heh." Six months later An Elbonian says, "Do you remember mittens? I loved having mittens." The other Elbonian says, "Shut up!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #lying, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I'll be right back after I inoculate our CEO." The boss says, "If you ever decide to reduce our layers of management, Carl is worthless and he thinks your kids look like the director of sales." The boss thinks, "That should buy me a few months."