Consultant Comic Strips - Page 9

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142 Results for Consultant

View 81 - 90 results for consultant comic strips. Discover the best "Consultant" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags slaes rep, nice suit, dilbert questioned, well dressed engineer, not redibilty, reverse makeover, consultant, engineers are grungie, business

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The boss: go with our sales rep and answer the customer's technical questions. whoa! you can't go looking like that. This is a nice suit, exactly, a well dressed engineer has no credicbility! I'll call my reverse make over consultant. Im bob the straight eye for the queer looking guy. Lets see...I'll give you my clothes ...add ear hair eye brow extensions, You seem highly credible and I don't know why. Genius.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Do you mind if I spout obvious generalities about information?" "If you have too much information, and it's not organized in any useful way, then it can't help you make decisions." "Are you a consultant or mildly retarded?" "I wish I knew."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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The Mildly Retarded Consultant "You'll have to drink from the firehose unless..." "...You drill down and check the dashboard to see why the bloatware bubbled up from the bake-off." "Does that mean anything?" "Don't ping my cheese with your bandwidth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dark, decompose, defecation, driving, green consultant, hate earth, procreating, stop eating

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Dogbert the Green Consultant Dogbert: "Stop eating, breathing, driving, defecating, and procreating." "Sit in the dark and decompose on some garden seeds." "Or do you admit you hate Earth?" The Boss:"A little."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags green consultant, rm your suv, hybrid cars, stop using fuel, save earth, other people sacrifice

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Dogbert the green consultant Dogbert: "Try ramming your SUV into hybrid cars." "That should stop them from using fuel altogether." "You can't save the Earth unless you're willing to make other people sacrifice." CEO: "I'm in."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags green consultant, source of methane, free source, energy, small office, give, butt, hose, pants, health

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Dogbert the green consultant Dogbert: "Your coworkers have identified you as a source of methane." Dogbert: "If we capture this free source of energy we can power a small office building." Wally: "I give and I give."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags management consulatant, consulting firm, worthless, managing, consulting, hired

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Dogbert: "You should hire me as your management consultant." Man: "We're a management consulting firm. We don't need a management consultant to consult us." Dogbert: "Are you saying that management consulting is worthless?" Man: "No, I'm saying we already know everything about management consulting." Dogbert: "How can you be so sure I can't help you when you don't know what my advice will be?" Man: "Okay, you're hired. What's your advice?" Dogbert: "Beats me. I'll have to ask my management consultant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags security consultant, suspicious behavior, beat him, death, trash can, recycle bins, ask question, medical

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Dogbert the security consultant Dogbert: "Be on the lookout for any suspicious behavior." "If you see a guy do something that you wouldn't do, beat him to death with a trash can." The Boss: "Can we use recycle bins?" Asok: "I wouldn't have asked that question."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags security consulatant, without id, badge, strip search, confiscate wallet, lock him janitors closet, extreme, living on mop water

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Dogbert the security consultant Dogbert: "If you see someone without an ID badge..." "...Strip search him, confiscate his wallet, and lock him in the janitor's closet until he starves!" The boss: "That seems a bit extreme." Dogbert: "You're about one minute away from living on mop water."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags configure software, consultant, doohickey, vendor, business

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The Boss: Our vendor sent us a consultant to help configure the software. We can tell how important we are by looking at the consultant they assigned to us. RatBert: The word that comes to mind is doohickey."