Cost Of Living Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

215 Results for Cost Of Living

View 81 - 90 results for cost of living comic strips. Discover the best "Cost Of Living" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2001's comic on:


Tags #power supply, #product overheats, #burst into flames, #level city, #military application, #costs, #ten million, #free hammer, #consulting job, #uninhabited, #atoll

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his desk. Dilbert enters and says, "The power supply in our product overheats." The Boss turns to an employee seated next to him and says, "I think they might burst into flames." The employee approaches a businesswoman and says, "I'm no engineer but obviously it could level a whole city." The businesswoman motions towards a diagram of an explosion that reads, "POW!!" She says to the seated military officer, "The military application is obvious." The military officer asks stoically, "How much do they cost?" The businesswoman answers furtively, "Does 10 million dollars sound like too much?" The military officer raises his fist in protest and exclaims, "For that kind of money I expect a free hammer! And a consulting job when I retire." Dilbert is sitting at his desk in front of his computer. The Boss approaches from behind and says, "If an uninhabited atoll doesn't blow up tomorrow you're in big trouble."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2001's comic on:


Tags #exit interview, #helpful data, #personal problems, #unethical weasel, #main reason for living

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: The Exit Interview. The Boss sits at his desk facing an employee. He says, "What would you say is your main reason for leaving?" The employee responds lightly, "I can't stand working for an unethical weasel." Catbert is sitting at his desk, across from The Boss. The Boss says, "Yep, personal problems." Catbert responds, "I'm glad that we collect this helpful data."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #reviews, #movies, #havnet seen, #night of living squirrel, #movie reviews, #big pay, #studio, #Dogbert, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is typing at his computer. Dilbert stands next to him and asks, "How can you write reviews of movies you haven't seen?" Dogbert replies, "Easily." Dogbert reads Dilbert an excerpt from his review: "Throw away your Picasso paintings. 'Night of the Living Squirrel' is the only art you'll ever need." Dilbert, looking unimpressed, asks, "How much is the studio paying you?" Dogbert responds, "Dang... Too obvious."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #stock market expert, #core holding, #dead cat bounce, #secret economic model, #book sales, #financial markets

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert is seen through a TV screen. He says, "If your core holding is a falling knife, you can dollar cost average through the dead cat bounce." A man is watching TV on his couch. Dogbert's voice continues, "My secret economic model says you should change your cash allocation from 12.4% to 12.3%." Dogbert and the TV interviewer are seen through a spilt screen on the TV. Dogbert says, "My new book is, 'If you aren't churning, you aren't learning." The interviewer replies, "Don't come back."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #downsize you, #ted, #bad job, #essentail function, #cost reductions, #marketing, #spent too much, #trade show booth, #dept phone list., #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Ted, "Ted, I have to downsize you." Ted turns around and asks, "Was I doing a bad job?" The Boss replies, "No, it's more complicated than that." Ted asks, "Is my essential function being eliminated?" The Boss answers, "No, the problem is that someone in marketing spent too much for a trade show booth." The Boss continues, "So every manager had to submit a list of potential cost reductions." The Boss continues, "I might have accidentally sent the department phone list as an e-mail attachment." Ted mumbles, "*%! $@." The Boss thinks, "There are lots of whiners in "A" through "M."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2001's comic on:


Tags #think aloud, #cost, #monkeys, #swallow tongue, #distarctions, #stream of consciousness

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Okay, let me think aloud for a minute." The Boss continues, "The cost will be $3,000... losing focus... monkeys are funny... my tongue is digesting in my mouth." The Boss concludes, "That didn't help as much as I had hoped."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #work from home, #know working, #wearing uncomfortable hat, #extremely uncomfortable

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his desk. Wally approaches and asks, "Is it okay if I work from home one day a week?" The Boss responds, "How would I know you were working?" Wally responds, "How do you know I'm working when I'm HERE?" The Boss responds, "When you're here, I know you're unhappy and that's the same thing as work." Wally responds, "What if I invent a hideously uncomfortable hat to wear when I'm working at home?" The Boss responds, "Well... that might be okay." The Boss continues, "But it has to be extremely uncomfortable or else it isn't work." Wally sits in his living room. He has a clamp tightened around his head and has turned blue. He thinks, "Hee Hee! The joke's on him - it isn't that uncomfortable."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2002's comic on:


Tags #billion dollars, #lose bid, #winning less work, #cost estimates

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches a coworker and says, "I need your cost estimates for my bid proposal." The coworker says, "A billion dollars." Dilbert responds, "That sounds high for administrative overhead." The coworker replies, "If you already know the cost, why ask me?" Dilbert says angrily, "You'll make us lose the bid." The coworker replies, "I like to think of it as winning less work."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #padded cost estimates, #co workers, #cost etsimates, #inaccurate data, #half full glass

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Boss and says, "I gathered all the padded cost estimates from the liars and scoundrels I'm ashamed to call co-workers." The Boss replies, "That's okay. I usually ignore our cost estimates and make bid proposals that I think will win." Dogbert is sitting on Dilbert's bed. Dilbert says, "I gather inaccurate data for a living. Luckily no one uses it." Dogbert replies, "Your glass is half full."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #working model, #test plant design, #how big, #real one, #certificate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is working on a model. The Boss approaches. Dilbert says, "I built a working model to test my nuclear power plant design." The Boss asks, "How big will the real one be?" Dilbert responds, "About half this size. And it will cost $23 to build." The Boss replies, "I'd give you an attaboy certificate but my printer is out of paper."