Couldn't Be Worse Comic Strips - Page 9

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180 Results for Couldn't Be Worse

View 81 - 90 results for couldn't be worse comic strips. Discover the best "Couldn't Be Worse" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #freeze n expenses, #freeware version, #readily available, #coffee sipping, #noises

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I couldn't buy the software I need to do my job because of your freeze on expenses. "And our I.S. policy says I can't use the freeware version that is readily available." "So I used the week to develop some new coffee-sipping noises."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #resources, #do job, #how now, #brown cow

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Dilbert: "I don't have enough resources to do my job." The Boss: "Isn't that like saying, "How now brown cow"?" Dilbert: "You think things can't get worse, but they can."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #standardize dept.new programming, #language, #mass from hole, #objective, #vendor warning

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The Boss: "I've decided to standardize the department on a new programming language." Dilbert: "With all due respect, that sort of decision should be made by someone who knows his mass from a black hole." Dilbert: "The vendor warned me that you couldn't be objective."

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The ex-photographer I hired isn't doing well in captivity. "Is he dying?" "Not yet. It's more of a panda situation." "Would you like to mate?" "I couldn't be less interested."

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"Hi, handsome. Are you free for lunch?" "Are you selling something, or do you have a horrible defect that isn't apparent?" "Is it so hard to believe that a hot, intelligent, sane woman would be attracted to a man like you?" "Gaaa!!! It's worse than I thought!" "Maybe we could just drink coffee and talk about the last episode of Battlestar Galactica." "GAAA!!!" "Get away from me, you perfect monster!" "There must be a guy in the engineering department who will date me." "Hi." "What's wrong with you?"

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Sorry I'm late. I was behind a herd of slow walkers. "I couldn't jog around them at the wide spots because my coffee cup was too full." "It's all part of my can't-do approach to life."

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"My pointy-haired boss couldn't make it, so he asked me to take notes." "The entire reason for this meeting is to get his input. How the @#$% does taking notes help??" "The...entire..."

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"I couldn't do any work this week because you gave Alice a bigger cubicle." "Your favoritism had a corrosive effect on my morale, thus inhibiting my effectiveness." "I'm optimistic that you'll do a better job of motivating me next week."

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Wally in Marketing "Wally, I want you to design our sales collateral." "The trick is to compare our product with things that are even worse." "'Prettier than a skunk sandwich and cooler than a hobo's mittens.'"

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"Some batteries in the lab leaked." "I cleaned it up, but there was no place to put all of the hazardous waste." "I couldn't put it in the regular trash or the recycling bin." "It's not legal to pour it down the drain or flush it." "So I put it between two pieces of bread and left it in the break room refrigerator." "GAAA!!!" "Not really. I just wanted to find out who's been eating my lunch." "You mean I'm not going to die?" "Not instantly."