Easy Commute Comic Strips - Page 9

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138 Results for Easy Commute

View 81 - 90 results for easy commute comic strips. Discover the best "Easy Commute" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #interviews, #wages, #interviewing, #salary range, #reveal nature of job, #current salary, #interviewing me, #evil or inconsiderate, #current job, #test the commute, #money

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Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #lying, #budget meeting, #cfo, #precious budget dollars, #competeing, #dots are staffed, #professional liars, #call marketing, #finace

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The Boss says, "I have a budget meeting tomorrow with our CFO." The Boss says, "I'll be competing against all of the other departments for precious budget dollars." The Boss says, "This won't be easy because all of the other departments are staffed with professional liars." Dilbert says, "That's a bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?" The Boss says, "What do you call marketing?" Dilbert says, "Okay, I'll give you that one." The Boss says, "Sales?" Dilbert says, "Right, but..." The Boss says, "P.R.?" Dilbert says, "Well, yes..." The Boss says, "Finance?" Dilbert says, "I forgot about that one." The Boss says, "Legal?" Dilbert says, "Wow." The Boss says, "Do the next one yourself." Dilbert says, "How about human resour... you win."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #writing, #writing systems, #press relese, #vp of engineering, #personal resons, #speculate, #bieber fever, #write fiction

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Boss: Tina, all I wanted you to say in the press release is that our VP of engineering is leaving for personal reasons. You didn't need to speculate on the reasons. Let's lost the part about "Bieber Fever." Tina: Everyone thinks it's easy to write fiction.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2011's comic on:


Tags #absent mindedness, #computers & peripherals, #unix servers, #new servers, #new names

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Wally: This week I renamed all of the Unix servers to make them easier to remember. In phase one, the new names exist only in my mind. I won't know if they're easy to remember until next week. Dilbert: How are the new server names? Wally: I don't know what you're talking about. Next week.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #ninja, #incapable

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Man: This can't be done. Dilbert: You aren't capable of doing it. Man: I'm not saying I'm incapable! I could do this in my sleep! Dilbert: Because it's easy. Man: What's happening here?! Dilbert: Ninja.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #deception, #ignorance (knowledge), #helicopter from kit, #link to website, #too dumb, #pliers

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Carol: You should build your own helicopter from a kit. I'll send you a link to the website. It's only dangerous for people who are too dumb to know how dumb they are. Boss: Is it as easy as it sounds? I have pliers. Carol: Yes!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #research facilities, #work home, #2 days, #twice as prodcutive, #elaborate science experiment, #commute to sit in box, #control group, #frustration

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Dilbert: Can I work at home for two days per week? I can be twice as productive, and happier at the same time. Boss: I probably shouldn't tell you this... but you're part of an elaborate science experiment to see how much frustrations it takes to kill employees. Why else would the company make you commute for two hours a day just to sit in a tiny box? Don't feel bad: no one told me either. I had to piece it together from the evidence. Now I do my part to keep the experiment moving along. Dilbert: Other people work from home. Boss: Are you referring to the control group?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #new software vendor, #form realtionship, #take money, #ex wife

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Man: I'm your new software vendor. I'm here to form a relationship with you. That way it will be easy to take half of your money. Dilbert: Does that ever work? Man: It worked for my ex-wife.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #thinking, #ignorant, #backstabbing, #die, #make changes

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Customer meeting Boss: If I may correct what Dilbert just said, I'm sure it would be easy to make those changes. Dilbert: You ignorant, backstabbing son of a beach ball. Boss: Are you saying something inside your head? Dilbert: No. Die.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2012's comic on:


Tags #dogs & puppies, #service monkey, #walking and texting, #guide obstacle

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Dilbert: Hey, Alice, do you have... Dog: She can't hear you. She's walking and texting. That's it... Easy does it. I'll guide you around this obstacle. Dilbert: What did I just see? Wally: I'm saving up for a service monkey.