Engineer Of The Year Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

597 Results for Engineer Of The Year

View 81 - 90 results for engineer of the year comic strips. Discover the best "Engineer Of The Year" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #head of market research, #120k salary, #value opinions, #refrence, #honesty, #pay these days

View Transcript

Transcript

"I got a job as the head of market research at your company. I'll be pulling down $120 K per year." "I don't value otehr people's opinions so I'll just use my own." "Just for reference, how much does honesty pay these days?" "Shut up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #new engineer, #sarcasm, #shows around, #telephone, #cubicle, #hallway, #every foot staep, #bad points, #office tour, #crazy, #bad conditions, #employement

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Laurie's our new engineer. Show her the ropes, Dilbert." "I meant figuratively." Dilbert: "This is your anti-productivity pod." "It's equipped with a little device that rings anytime you try to concentrate." "The top is open so none of the background noise is inadvertently muffled." "And you're on the main aisle, so you'll be haunted every minute by footsteps behind you. Step...step...step." The Boss: "We need to talk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tough year, #special team, #much smaller team

View Transcript

Transcript

"This will be a tough year for the company." "It will take a special kind of team to get by." "Go team!" "Team! Team!" "Yes!" "Specifically, it will take a much smaller team."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #downsize, #improve service

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our two goals this year are to downsize and to improve customer service. Dilbert: question: how can you improve service if you're getting rid f service people? The Boss: who do you think is screwing up the customer service? duh...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boot camp, #conquer the earth, #genetic mutations, #half man, #sea monkeys, #half cucumber

View Transcript

Transcript

"What are you planting?" "I'm growing an army of genetic mutants to do my bidding." "Half man, half giant cucumber, these unthinking brutes will help me conquer the Earth!" "Didn't you try this with sea monkeys last year?" "None of them survived boot camp."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales, #two years, #sudden surge, #business case apporved, #get promoted, #accountability, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I predict sales to be nothing for two years and then take a sudden surge. Dilbert: Why? Ted: The surge was added so I could get the business case approved. The two -year lag gives me time to get promoted. Dilbert: What about accountability? Dilbert: thats where you come in.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #key boards replaced, #motion sensing, #computer screen, #3d image, #technical professionals, #engineer, #moron, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert the Futurist" Dogbert: "Someday, keyboards will be replaced by motion-sensing rings on your fingers..." "The computer screen will be projected into your glasses as a 3-D image." - These developments will not enhance the image of technical professionals." Dilbert: "Are you an engineer?" Moron: "I'm a moron. Common mistake."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #2004, #cheaper than dating, #date at door, #Dogbert, #future, #holodeck, #virtual reality, #writing article, #money, #male hormones

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "I can predict the future by assuming that money and male hormones are the driving forces for new technology." "Therefore, when virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed." "Year 2004" Date: "Is Dilbert available?" DOgbert: "He's been in the holodeck since March."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert ethics advisor, #prodcut, #mail people, #high fees, #procedure, #ethics advice, #return stupid prodcut

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert: Ethics Advisor" "We mail our product to people and tell them it's free for one year." "Then we start nailing them with high fees because they'll forget the procedure for returning the product. They're trapped." "So, did you have some ethics advice?" "No. I asked you here so I can return your stupid product."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jar, #soul of mail boy, #shake hold to light, #bargaining table, #union rights, #negotiating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Whats in the jar? The Boss: Its the soul of the Willy Mail Boy. If you shake it real hard and hold it up to the light you can see it. Dilbert: The union didn't do to well at the old bargaining table this year. willy: These aren't our glory years.