Fire Comic Strips - Page 9
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Character
221 Results for Fire
View 81 - 90 results for fire comic strips. Discover the best "Fire" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday September 16,
2003
Tags india institute of technology, huge brain, mental superiority, re heat tea, forehead, fire
Transcript
Asok: "At the India Institute of Technology, I learned to use my huge brain." "But I try not to frighten ordinary people with any gratuitous displays of mental superiority." "For example, I no longer reheat my tea by holding it to my forehead and imagining fire."
Monday March 01,
2004
Tags too many managers, aspect manager, corproaret objective, morale aspect, bad coice, dread
Transcript
CEO: "We have too many managers, so I'm making you an aspect manager." "You'll be in charge of one aspect of a corporate objective." The Boss: "Please just fire me." CEO: "Your aspect will be morale."
Saturday March 06,
2004
Tags cpr on blob, fire in break room, sprinkler system, water melketed, witch melted
Transcript
The Boss: "When I found out that the manager who replaced me was a witch, I set a fire in the break room." "The automatic sprinkler system came on and melted her. Witches don't like water." "Are you glad to have me back?" "I've been doing CPR on this blob for two days."
Tuesday April 20,
2004
Tags backs up, fake news, lake view, potential fire place, rains, real estate charlatan, seasonal skylight, sweras, turning bad into good, well written
Transcript
Dogbert the real estate agent "When it rains the sewer backs up and covers the driveway." "Lake view." "Every spring rabid squirrels rip off huge chunks of the roof to look for food." "Seasonal skylight." "The dry brush behind the house is a fire hazard." "Potential, fireplace."
Saturday December 04,
2004
Tags biggest customer, key to learning, fire, trust anyone
Transcript
The Boss: "Wally, did you tell our biggest customer that everyone here except you is an escaped felon?" Wally: "Maybe." The Boss: "Now I can't fire you because they don't trust anyone else." wally: "The key learning here is that alleged crime doesn't pay." the boss; "I've never been caught!"
Thursday February 03,
2005
Tags bad service, fire people, sexy, ceo of company
Transcript
I keep getting bad service at stores. "Do what I do."<br."I say I'm the CEO of their company and then I fire them all." "You don't look like a CEO." "Too sexy?"
Tuesday April 26,
2005
Tags rated good, you're not good, company policy, fire anyone, hiring freeze, get paid
Transcript
The Boss: "Wally, I'm rating you "good" but not because you are." "Company policy says I have to fire anyone rated lower than good, and the hiring freeze means it would shrink my empire." "So you can get paid for doing nothing as long as you don't kill anyone." wally: "I can't promise that."
Saturday May 14,
2005
Tags stress hump, goes away, all in mind
Transcript
Could I have a few days off to see if my stress hump goes away? The boss: "Stress is all in your mind. I should fire you and your hump right now for even asking!" Dilbert: "Just because he said no?" new guy: "It was the way he said it."
Thursday June 30,
2005
Tags board meeting, dipping employees, varnish, voted to fire you, 100 million, 1 million year
Transcript
Ratbert the CEO "The board has learned that you've been dipping employees in varnish and using them as office furniture." "We voted to fire you. Your severence package includes $100 million, the corporate jet, perpetual benefits and a salary of $1 million per year." "Bu-ya!" "He's taking it well."
Saturday September 17,
2005
Transcript
"I didn't think it was possible, but for the past month I've done my own job plus Ted's, and done them well." "I know that you're marveling at my accomplishment and wondering how you can reward me." "Maybe I can fire Carl and make this idiot do his job too." "I'll be we're thinking of the same bonus amount!"

