Friday Meetings Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for friday meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Friday Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #80 hour week, #crazy talk, #less work, #loofah, #evil director, #human resources, #business

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Alice: Im working 80 hours a week. I barely have time to bathe. Catbert: try using your tongue during meetings, Its like a bath and a loofah all in one. Alice: Or I could do less work. Catbert: Thats crazy talk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #performance review, #meetings, #too negative, #poo posed ideas, #cold fusion, #perpetual motion, #clothes dryer, #antigravity pants, #mri vending machine, #terrible ideas, #negative attitude, #tongue scraper

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"Performance review" "People say you're too negative in meetings." "Negative? When?" "According to the marketing department, you poo-pooed a number of their ideas..." "...The cold fusion scooter, perpetual motion clothes dryer, antigravity pants, MRI vending machine, and the list goes on." "Those are terrible ideas!" "Negative attitude!!! Gottcha!!!" "Okay, you're right. From now on, I will support all terrible ideas." "Good." "It's a tongue scraper and a frozen flagpole!" "Can it be electrified?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #kodos, #morale, #mascot, #meetings, #moral improves, #bear suit, #meeting, #low morale, #idea for imprvement, #business

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The Boss: "His name is Kudos, the bear-er of good morale!" "Kudos" "He's our new mascot. He'll attend all of our meetings until morale improves." "Today is Asok's turn in the suit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #created work, #email him, #end the madness, #meeting with boss, #pulling plugs, #request

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Dilbert: Carol I need ten minutes on the pointy - haired boss schedule. Carol: I don't let him have meetings anymore. Dilbert: what? Carol: Everytime he had a meeting it just created more work for me. Carol: It was always Carol, get me a file and Carol schedule another meeting. Obviously I had to put an end to the madness. Dilbert: I guess ic ould email him. Carol: You could try.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #removed all chairs, #more efficient meetings, #efficiency, #what looked like

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The Boss: "I removed all the chairs to encourage more efficient meetings." "The first item on the agenda is... Ow, ow! Legs so tired... Meeting adjourned!!!" Wally: "I always wondered what efficiency looked like."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suspicious, #nap, #evil director, #wellness program, #human resources, #business

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"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "Have you heard about the employee wellness program?" "If you call in sick on a Monday or a Friday, your boss says, 'Well, well, well- that's very suspicious.'" "Now if you'll excuse me, I feel a nap coming on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accomplishments, #past 3 months, #cutsomers, #misconceptions, #objective, #home computer, #paraphase, #flew to wrong city, #upgraded computer

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The Boss: "What? You have no accomplishments this month???" "What did you do for the past three months?" Dilbert: "Well, I spent much of that time correcting misconceptions that you gave to our customers." "And I attended meetings with you to keep you from creating additional misconceptions." "I spent a month working on an objective that you forgot to tell me didn't matter." "I flew to the wrong city for a meeting because you confused Houston with Austin." "And I upgraded your home computer so you wouldn't have to pay someone to do it." "Allow me to paraphrase: Blah, blah, blah, you didn't accomplish anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design one microchip, #dozens of meetings, #manager

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The boss: "All you did this quarter is design one microship." "In comparison, I found the time to attend dozens of meetings." "Now do you see what it takes to be a manager?" "Sadly, yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no meetings, #create work, #canceled them, #drop in

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"Carol, why don't I have any meetings today?" "Your meetings create work for me, so I canceled them." "Maybe I could drop in on some people." "Harpoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources<Br>"Alice, you've been accused of making dismissive facial expressions." "You have also muttered the following sounds during meetings: piff, bah, ffff, and ssstoop." "Did anyone complain about this expression? I like to use it in these situations." "No, that's still good."