Glass Half Empty Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

236 Results for Glass Half Empty

View 81 - 90 results for glass half empty comic strips. Discover the best "Glass Half Empty" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #user manual, #review, #left empty, #blad engineer, #draft, #characters

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits at his computer. Tina the Tech Writer says, "Wally did review my draft of the user manual yet?" Wally says, "The characters in the examples gave me no reason to care about them. It left me empty." Wally gives Tina the papers. Tina the tech writer sits at her computer. Tina writes, "Sadly, user "B" could never love user "A" because he was a bald engineer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #department mascot, #industrious beaver, #woodchuck, #perky

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Alice and Dilbert are in a meeting. The Boss points at a picture of a woodchuck half out of its hole. The boss says, "Our department mascot will be the industrious beaver." Dilbert says, "That's a picture of a woodchuck." The boss says, "He looks perky. That's close enough." Dilbert says, "He could be a beaver who lives in a whole."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #under arrest, #stealing boxes, #recycling goals, #reuse, #recycle, #cell, #locked up, #cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands in the doorway of the copy room. Wally holds a cardboard box. Catbert says, "You're under arrest for stealing empty cardboard boxes!" Catbert says, "The company needs those boxes to meet its recycling goals." Wally says, "But reuse is better than recycling." Wally stands in his cubicle which now has a prison door. Catbert walks away. Wally stares through the bars. Wally thinks, "There's got to be a way out of this cell." The cubicle walls are barely higher than Wally's head.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #misses staff meeting, #buy donuts, #freedom donuts

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at the conference table. The Boss says, "From now on, anyone who misses a staff meeting must buy donuts for the next meeting." Wally, Dilbert and Alice look at each other. The Boss sits at a now empty conference table. The boss thinks, "Did I just sell them their freedom for donuts?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert the consultant, #ad campign, #tony sincereity, #introdcue prodcut, #invisible robot, #empty box

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Dogbert the consultant. Dogbert sits at the conference table with Alice and Dilbert. Dogbert says, "Our ad campaign featuring phony sincerity is working." Dogberts hands Alice and Dilbert pieces of paper. Dogbert says, "In phase two, we'll introduce our newest product, the invisible robot." Alice says, "We don't know how to make an invisible robot." Dogbert says, "Do you know how to make an empty box?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart the consultant, #invisible robot, #empty box, #train support staff, #customers house, #sensors

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Dogbert the consultant" Dogbert stands on a conference table. Dogbert says, "Some customers might complain that the invisible robot they bought from us.." Dogbert says, to Wally and Dilbert, "...is nothing but an empty box.. I will train our support staff to handle those calls." Caption: "Customer's House" A customer talks on the phone in his living room, near an empty cardboard box. He is terrified. The voice on the other end of the phone says, "According to our sensors, he's in your house... and he's watching you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #venture capitalists, #cool ponytail, #squandered, #investment, #no more funding, #mutter words, #e commerce, #gurgle, #swoon

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Venture capitalists" Two venture capitalists sit at a conference table. One of the venture capitalists says, "Despite your cool ponytail, you seem to have squandered our investment." One of the venture capitalists says, "You'll get nor more funding unless you mutter empty internet words that make us swoon!" Wally says, "E-commerce." Both venture capitalists fall out of their chairs,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #red white shirt, #spilled, #Women, #party, #drink in face, #salt, #lighter fluid, #set on fire, #burned, #not happy, #not popular

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at a cocktail party. A woman says, "You spilled red wine on your shirt." The woman says, "You should dilute it with white wine." A woman throws a glass of wine in Dilberts face and says, "You'll thank me for this later." The woman says, "I think that helped." Another woman approaches. Woman 2 says, "You need salt to absorb it." Woman 2 throws a drink in Dilbert's face and says, "Try my margarita." Women 1 says, "Salt didn't work. Let's try pepper spray." Woman 2 says, "Perhaps lighter fluid..." Woman one sprays pepper spray and says, "No harm in trying." Woman 2 says, "I have one more idea." Dilbert walks into his living room with his shirt burned. dilbert says, "Just once, I'd like to got to a party and not be set on fire." Dogbert says, "There is a stain on your rug."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting moth, #wool clothes, #participants, #moth eaten clothes, #empty stomach

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks cursing. His clothing is chewed to bits. Alice also curses. her clothing also has large bites taken out of it. The meeting moth walks with his mouth full and his hands full of cloth. The moth thinks, "A "meeting moth" should never go to a meeting on an empty stomach."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret weapon, #lowered glass ceiling, #marry a rich guy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Tina and says, "...so Tina, you shouldn't have..." Tina thinks to herself, "I'm in trouble. Must use secret weapon." Tina begins to cry and scream, "WAAH!! WAAH!! Everybody hates me no matter what I do!!" Alice leans over her cubicle and says, "Thanks, that lowered the glass ceiling about a foot." Tina replies, "I plan to marry a rich guy."