Got It Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

554 Results for Got It

View 81 - 90 results for got it comic strips. Discover the best "Got It" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #school, #technology, #imbeciles, #automatic, #bank, #machines, #microwave, #ovens, #video, #recorders, #cd players, #vcr

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to open a school for people who are technology imbeciles." Dogbert continues, "I'll teach people how to use automatic bank machines, microwave ovens, video recorders, CD players, that sort of thing . . ." Dogbert sits at a desk labeled "Imbecile Admissions." A little boy holds his father's hand and says, "I thought he was reasonably bright until we got the VCR . . ." Dogbert replies, "They can fool you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #objections, #Funny, #faces, #rambling, #monthly, #daily, #the boss, #Wally, #meetings

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, Alice, the Boss and Ted sit at a conference table. Ted says, "If there are no objections, I'd like to make funny faces and tell a long rambling story." Ted continues, ". . . So, then I said 'You want the MONTHLY report, not the DAILY report.' . . . But that got me thinking . . . So . . ." Ted says, "Blah blah blah" and waves his arms. The Boss thinks, "I can top that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #meeting, #the boss, #change, #lowered, #expenses, #increased, #revenues, #financial, #situation, #blinding, #flash, #obvious

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, the Boss, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Whoa whoa! I just got an idea that could change everything . . ." Ted says, "What if we LOWERED expenses and INCREASED revenues? That could help our financial situation." Ted yells, "Aaagh! I can't see!!!" Dilbert says to the Boss, "Sounds like a blinding flash of the obvious, sir."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #television, #budget, #education, #money, #percentage, #difference, #music, #safety, #law, #studies, #piano-related deaths, #lawmakers, #health risks, #watching, #scary, #shows

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. A newscaster says, "The budget for education was cut ten million dollars." Dogbert thinks, "Is that a big percentage? Does it make any difference?" The reporter says, "Congress considered a music safety law after studies showed a ten percent increase in piano-related deaths." Dogbert wonders, "How does that compare to other health risks? Should I be concerned?" The newscaster continues, "Lawmakers debated a bill to lower capital gains tax rates . . ." Dogbert thinks, "What do most economists think? Would it stimulate the economy much? Should I care?" The newscaster continues, "A new poll show that many voters have strong opinions on these issues despite the fact that we provide no useful contextual data." Dogbert walks away with his ears standing up. He thinks, "I've got to stop watching scary shows right before bedtime."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #interview, #applicant, #engineer, #standard, #pens, #pencil, #perform, #natural, #fabrics, #carry, #wearing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to interview the job applicant who's coming in today." The Boss continues, "See if he's got what it takes to be an engineer." Dilbert holds out his hand and says to the candidate, "Hi, Karl. We'll start with the standard engineering test." Karl says, "Okey dokey." Dilbert says, "I have thiry-five pens and pencils here. How many are really needed to perform your job?" Karl answers, "All of them." Dilbert says, "Correct . . . Now, what is the proper way to carry them with you?" Karl puts all of the pens and pencils in his shirt pocket. Dilbert says, "Right again. Last question: what is the advantage of wearing natural fabrics?" Karl thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Panic situation." Sweat flies off his forehead and his hair sticks up. He says, "I . . . I don't know." Dilbert says, "That's okay. I was testing your hair. You're an engineer." Karl smiles.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #the boss, #good, #bad, #news, #companies, #compete, #small, #nimble, #rate, #smallest, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've got good news and bad news." The Boss continues, "The bad news is that huge companies like us can't compete against small, nimble companies. The good news is that at this rate WE'LL be the smallest company around." Dilbert, Alice and Ted shout, "We're number one! Yes!!" The Boss thinks, "What am I doing wrong here?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #break, #restroom, #mingle, #dryer, #delay, #impenitrable, #agenda, #alone, #Dogbert, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in a meeting. The speaker says, "Let's take a ten-minute break." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert thinks, "I've got to use the restroom and get back before all the mingle groups have solidified." Dilbert stands in the bathroom and thinks, "Uh no, it's an air dryer, an unexpected delay!" Dilbert returns to the room and thinks, "I'm too late. All the minglers have formed impenetrable groups." Dilbert thinks, "I'll pretend to study the agenda so it looks like I have a reason to be alone." Dilbert thinks, "Everybody knows it doesn't take this long to read an agenda. Now what do I do??" Beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's forehead and he tugs on his tie. He thinks, "I've got to stand here alone, totally non-mingled, for five more minutes." Dilbert arrives at home looking disheveled. Dogbert asks, "Tough day at work?" Dilbert replies, "Just the breaks."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #the boss, #Wally, #raises, #dependent, #evaluation, #co-workers, #hypothetically, #small, #available, #budget, #standards

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "From now on, your raises will be partly dependent on an evaluation by your co-workers." Wally asks, "Hypothetically, if my co-workers got small raises then wouldn't there be more available in the budget for me?" Wally, Alice and Dilbert fall to the ground and fight. The Boss says, "That didn't last long, even by our standards."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #baldness, #testosterone, #hair, #gone, #flinging, #pores, #problem, #ted

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Dilbert and Ted, "Don't get too close - I found out that my baldness is caused by too much testosterone." Wally continues, "Now with my hair gone I'm afraid the testosterone will start flinging out of my pores." Drops of testosterone fly out of Wally's head. Ted says, "Hey! You got some on my shirt!" Wally raises his fists and says, "Do you have a problem with that?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #computer, #romostatic, #real-time, #data, #compression, #plug, #darling, #church

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits in the chair. Dilbert says, "Look what I got for my computer! It's a romostatic real-time data compression processor!" Dilbert walks away saying, "Oooh . . . I can't wait to plug you in, my little darling. I've waited so long." Dilbert says, "Oh yes! Yes!" Dogbert asks, "Does the church know about this?"