Have More Fun Comic Strips - Page 9

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1000 Results for Have More Fun

View 81 - 90 results for have more fun comic strips. Discover the best "Have More Fun" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #job, #morning, #amnesia, #waking up, #screaming

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Dilbert sits up in bed and thinks, "Ugh . . . What time is it? . . . Where am I? . . . Who am I?" Dilbert thinks, "Must be morning . . . Is this a work day? Do I have a job? . . . Is it worth getting up for?" Dilbert sits on the edge of the bed and thinks, "'Morning amnesia': nature's way of keeping you from waking up screaming."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #corporate, #philosophy, #shoot, #messenger, #consulted, #engineering, #department, #launched, #ill-conceived product, #humiliated, #fired, #eileen, #document, #carpet

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Dilbert stands at the front of the room giving a presentation. A man sitting at the conference table says, "Be candid, Dilbert. We have a corporate philosophy that says we 'don't shoot the messenger.'" Dilbert replies, "Good." Dilbert points to a diagram and says, "Had you consulted with the engineering department, you never would have launched such an ill-conceived product." Dilbert continues, "It is doomed to fail. You will all be humiliated and probably fired." A woman holding a rifle shouts, "Can't I just wing him?!!" A man says, "No, Eileen, that's not our philosophy." Dilbert arrives at home with tar and feathers on his body. He tells Dogbert, "It turns out the corporate philosophy is a very flexible document." Dogbert says, "You're getting tar on the carpet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #napping, #again, #famous people, #functioned, #sleep, #jackie gleason, #ben franklin, #attractive

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Dogbert lies on his pillow. Dilbert says, "Dogbert . . . Napping again?" Dilbert says, "Don't you know that many famous people functioned with very little sleep . . .? There were Jackie Gleason, Ben Franklin, Napoleon . . ." Dogbert says, "I like to think I'm more attractive than any of those guys."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #donald trump, #polar bear, #soviet union, #soviet-exchange, #trump

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Dogbert meets the soviet exchange program dog. Dogbert: He seems harmless. Polar Bear: Greetings, comrade Dogbert. I have come to learn capitalist system from dog's perspective. ...and your god is this Donald Trump? Dogbert: I don't think it's official yet.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #capitalism, #communism, #Dogbert, #dorgy, #popular methods, #rich

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Dogbert: You see, Dorgy, under our capitalist system anybody can become rich. Dogbert: Inheritance and crime are the most popular methods. Dorgy: Which is preferred method? Dogbert: It's best to have your parents do the crime and let you inherit it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #animal behavior, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #Dogs, #Fun, #honest, #john, #sweaters, #toilets

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Dilbert sits in his chair thinking, "The great thing about dogs is their loyalty." Dogbert says, "I flushed all of your sweaters down the john, because it was fun." Dogbert continues, "And I'll do it again ha ha ha!" Dilbert turns toward the reader and thinks, "Dogs are honest, too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #phone, #library, #reference, #boola-boola dog, #tazmanian, #stuck, #teeth

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Dilbert says into the telephone, "Hello, is this the library reference desk?" A voice answers, "Yes." Dilbert asks, "What's the average running speed of the Tazmanian Boola-Boola dog?" The librarian replies, "8.3 miles per hour." Dilbert looks at the phone and says, "I can't believe she knew that." The librarian says, "And you have something stuck in your teeth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #working, #reference, #inadequate, #talking, #pages

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Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "So, uh . . . How do you like working at the library reference desk?" The woman replies, "It's pretty good, now that I've memorized all the books. No more flipping through pages . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm feeling a bit inadequate at the moment." The woman replies, "Don't worry. I'll just think about other things while you're talking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #fast, #not, #eating, #starved, #death, #fast food

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit in a fast food restaurant. Dogbert asks, "Doesn't 'fast' mean not eating?" Dogbert asks, "So how can you have 'fast food?'" Dogbert asks, "And how much would I have to eat before I starved to death?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #computer, #a.d. 2190, #bobby, #exploded

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a desk. Dilbert says, "I programmed the computer to predict what people will be like in 200 years." Dogbert asks, "What assumptions are you making?" Dilbert replies, "It's based on trends in today's youth." Dilbert explains, "For example, we know that science skills are declining, more kids are overweight, and selfishness is rising." In the year 2190, three huge people float in midair. One person says, "I heard that Bobby exploded." Another replies, "I wonder why that keeps happening." The third person says, "Who cares? More for us."