Head Of Market Research Comic Strips - Page 9

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760 Results for Head Of Market Research

View 81 - 90 results for head of market research comic strips. Discover the best "Head Of Market Research" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #kitty kelly, #biography, #watch, #love, #Women, #relationships

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Dilbert's clothes are disheveled and he has lipstick marks all over his head. Dogbert asks, "What happened to you?" Dilbert replies, "Kitty Kelly was here to write your biography. She was all over me. I think she took my watch." Dogbert says, "I never trust anybody named 'Kitty.'" Dilbert says as he walks away, "I think I love her."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #lie, #detector, #flushed, #goldfish, #abe lincoln, #president, #mistakes

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Dogbert attaches wires to Dogbert's paws and head and says, "This lie detector will determine if you flushed my goldfish." Dilbert asks, "Name?" Dogbert answers, "Abe Lincoln." Dilbert asks, "Occupation?" Dogbert answers, "President." Dilbert asks, "Did you kill my fish?" Dogbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "Lie detectors never make mistakes, do they?" Dilbert looks at the printout and says, "Uh . . . No, Mister President."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bright, #fellow, #mensa, #genuis, #iq, #local, #chapter, #smart, #intelligence, #practical, #application

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A man with a large head says to Dilbert, "You seem like a bright fellow; have you considered joining Mensa?" Dilbert asks, "Is that the group with genius IQs?" The man replies, "Precisely correct. I'm president of the local chapter." Dilbert asks, "If we're so smart, why do we work here?" The man replies, "Intelligence has much less practical application than you'd think."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #mensa, #meeting, #geniuses

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A man with a large head answers the door wearing a bathrobe and says, "Uh . . . Hi, Dilbert?" Dilbert says, "Hi. I'm here for my first Mensa meeting of geniuses." The man says, "It's at 5 P.M., not 5 A.M." Dilbert walks away thinking, "Bad start."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #mensa, #meeting, #link, #arms, #stimulate, #dna, #structure, #celebrity, #random

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A man with a large head says to Dilbert, "Since this is the first time you've been to a Mensa meeting, I'll explain a few things." The man continues, "When the music stops we all link arms to simulate the DNA structure of a featured celebrity." The man says quietly, "To be honest, I think a lot of it is just random."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #robots, #requires, #vast, #strength, #protect, #harm, #humans, #robot, #code

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Dilbert says to a robot, "Remember, the 'Robot's Code' requires you to use your vast strength to serve, protect, and never harm humans." The robot says, "Ha! I didn't sign any 'Robot's Code.' In fact, with my vast strength I can make YOU serve ME!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I forgot to program in the 'Robot's Code.'" The robot reaches toward Dilbert's head and says, "Maybe I'll crush your head just for fun!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #plastic, #surgery, #decision, #nobody, #toucan sam, #cafeteria, #intern, #janet, #lips, #puffed, #tethered, #snorted

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A woman with a huge nose tells Dilbert and Wally, "I've decided to have plastic surgery." Dilbert replies, "Frankly, I think it's the right decision." Dilbert continues, "Maybe then nobody will call you 'Toucan Sam' behind your back in the cafeteria every day." Wally says, "Ooh, and remember when the summer intern left?" Wally continues, "The joke was 'Maybe Janet accidentally snorted him up her nose.'" Janet says, "Actually, I'm only going to have my lips puffed." Wally whispers, "I hope the nurses are tethered down." Dilbert arrives at home with his arm in a sling and a bandage on his head. He tells Dogbert, "I got off easy . . . Poor Norman got snorted."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #tax, #rebate, #Dogs, #only, #fair, #stimulate, #economy, #keynesian, #free, #market, #boost, #gnp, #supply, #side, #curve, #positive, #vote, #reel

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Dogbert sits across from the President's desk. Dogbert says, "So, Mister President, a tax rebate for dogs is the only fair way to stimulate the economy." Dogbert continues, "Because then you get a keynesian free market multiplier effect to boost your GNP up the supply side of the curve." The President asks, "Are you POSITIVE that dogs can vote?" Dogbert thinks, "Now, r-e-e-l him in . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #potational, #assignment, #the boss, #notice, #market, #two, #drink, #minimum

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you on a rotational assignment . . ." The Boss continues, "You will be working in marketing until further notice." Dilbert arrives at the entrance to marketing. A sign over the door says, "Two drink minimum." Everyone inside is wearing a robe and holding a drink.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #transferred, #market, #work, #barbecue, #tuesday, #lunch, #unicorn

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A man holding a drink and wearing a robe and a wreath of leaves on his head says to Dilbert, "You look lost." Music plays in the background. Dilbert says, "I never knew that marketing was like this . . . Do you people do any work?" The man replies, "Well, not on 'Barbecue Tuesday.' Are you staying for lunch? It's unicorn!"