Health Insurance Comic Strips - Page 9

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224 Results for Health Insurance

View 81 - 90 results for health insurance comic strips. Discover the best "Health Insurance" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags price quite, taxes, shipping, cable, carts, software, memory, upgrades, maintence, insurance, needy, engineering

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"That price quote includes everything!" Dilbert: "What about taxes, shipping, cables, carts, software, memory upgrades, maintenance and insurance?" "Has anyone ever called you needy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags financial planner, health care, squalor, diversified portfolio, bacon, secrets, planning, dog advice

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Dogbert the financial planner Dogbert: With advances in health care, you could live to be 200. If you have a good financial plan, only the last 120 years will be spent in squalor. I recommend a diversified portfolio. And bacon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health problems, absenteeism, raise, avoid exercise

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Wally says, "Health problems and absenteeism are a huge cost to this business." The Boss says, "So?" Wally says, "So give me a raise, or I'll eat unhealthy food and avoid all forms of exercise." The Boss says, "You already do those things." Wally says, "How could you possibly know that?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company lawyer, simple agreement, impenetrable gibberish, sour taste, choke my suspenders, exercise, eat right, finish, health

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Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "Can you turn a simple agreement into impenetrable gibberish?" The lawyer says, "Absolutely. I can also leave a sour taste in everyone's mouth and make you want to choke me with my suspenders." The lawyer says, "If you exercise and eat right, you might still be alive when I finish it." Dilbert says, "Good enough."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget cut, health, bleak, public, poorly made prodcuts, elevant, organs, still healthy, black market

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After Budget cuts The boss: It might seem bleak now, but things will turn around... As soon as the public starts loving poorly made products that are relevant to a bygone era. In the meantime, who has organs that are still healthy enough to sell on the black market?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, economy, job, screaming, health, Promotion, rejection, denial, business

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The boss says, "Asok, the company isn't growing, and no one is quitting in this economy." The boss says, "Your only hope for promotion is if a senior engineer dies." Dilbert says, "I joined a gym!" Asok says, "No-ooo!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags angry, yelling, assignment, ridiculous, overworked

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The boss says, "I need you to do product testing for our new release." Dilbert says, "How could I possible have time for all the work you keep giving me?" The boss says, "Have you tried sacrificing your health?" Dilbert says, "Do I look like I can run marathons?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiating, broke, poor, economy, recession, comparison, exaggeration

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Negotiating in a bad economy The Boss says, "My company is so poor that we need a 20% price reduction or we'll go belly-up." Man says, "My company is so poor that our only chance of eating involves throwing office supplies at low-flying birds." The boss says, "Shall we say 10%?" Man says, "Our health plan is 'Screaming.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nose job, health insurance, surgery, cloth over nose, good deal, veterinarian, dog nose, squirrel, medical

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Asok says, "Our health plan doesn't cover nose jobs, so I used the market system to bargain for a good deal." Asok says, "I learned that a veterinarian is just like a doctor, but cheaper." Asok says, "Do you smell a squirrel?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nose job, health insurance, surgery, dog nose, veterinarian, lunch time, eat, engineer, function, rationalize, medical, engineering

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Asok says, "I probably shouldn't have gone to a veterinarian for my nose job." Asok says, "But as an engineer, I value function over form, and the airflow is actually quite good." Dilbert says, "You might be rationalizing a little." Asok says, "I pity you with your inefficient nostrils."