Humans Are Germs Comic Strips - Page 9

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89 Results for Humans Are Germs

View 81 - 89 results for humans are germs comic strips. Discover the best "Humans Are Germs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Alice Won't Shake Hands

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Alice Won't Shake Hands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #presentation, #germs

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the boss attempting a handshake: great job on the presentation. alice: i prefer to avoid contact with that festering germ colony you call a hand. the boss: okay. better safe than sorry. alice: and could you face backward when you talk to me?

Humans Getting Wiser

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Humans Getting Wiser - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #psychology, #humans, #dumb, #selfish, #wise, #interact, #people

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dilbert: the more i interact with people, the less i like them. i can't tell if i'm getting wiser or humans are becoming dumber and more selfish. dogbert: humans couldn't get any dumber or more selfish. dilbert: so, you're saying i'm getting wiser?

Goggles Remove Humans

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Goggles Remove Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #goggles, #human, #scenery, #alone, #noise canceling, #headphones, #interaction, #mega, #dork

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dilbert: i invented goggles that remove humans from the scenery, so one can enjoy being alone. add noice canceling headphones, and you'll never again have to experience the horror of human interaction. alice: you freakin' megadork. dilbert holding arms out: mmmm, bliss.

Alice Borrows Stapler

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Alice Borrows Stapler - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office supplies, #face mask, #borrow, #stapler, #paper clip, #coronavirus, #germs

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Alice wearing face mask: can I borrow your stapler? Dilbert wearing face mask: not with your bare hands. but i can wrap it in plastic and leave a hole for the staples to come out. Alice: maybe you can just lend me a paper clip. dilbert: i'll throw it to you.

Smartphones Spread Viruses

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Smartphones Spread Viruses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #hygiene, #science, #contagion, #pandemic, #smartphone, #germs

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Boss: Scientists say our smartphones can spread the coronavirus. That's why I no longer answer the phone. You never know if the caller is infected. Asok: I don't think... Dilbert: Let it go.

Begging The Universe For Trouble

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Begging The Universe For Trouble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #hygiene, #karma, #pandemic, #virus, #hoax, #germs, #superstitious

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Man: If you keep saying the coronavirus is a hoax. You are practically begging the universe to infect you. CEO: Don't be so superstitious. That's not how anything works, you moron. Cough cough. Man: No, karma! Not me!

Ceo Does Math

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Ceo Does Math - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death & dying, #diseases, #earth, #humans, #sarcasm, #pandemic, #virus

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CEO: Why is everyone so panicked about coronavirus when maybe only 1% who get it will die? Catbert: One percent of the population of Earth would be...77 million dead. CEO: Yes, but the whole world won't get it. Catbert: They will if they listen to you.

Humans Making Decisions

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Humans Making Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biases, #business, #data, #decision, #guessing, #human nature, #making, #primitive, #psychology, #reason, #sarcasm, #superstitions, #technology, #science

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dilbert: when humans were primitive and dumb, they used their superstitions and biases to make decisions. eventually, science won out, and we evolved to use data and reason to make decisions. dogbert: how'd that work out? dilbert: not so good. it turns out that all of our data are unreliable and conflicting. and we don't have the mental capacity to use reason. dogbert: it's still better than guessing. dilbert: how do you know that? dogbert: you are hard to talk to.

Artificial Dumbness

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 Artificial Dumbness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cell phone, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #software, #invention, #artificial, #dumb, #human, #face mask

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dilbert: my new software invention is called "artificial dumbness." it acts dumb so humans will think they are talking to one of their own. boss: that couldn't possibly work. dilbert's phone echos: that couldn't possibly work.