Idiot Comic Strips - Page 9
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Character
136 Results for Idiot
View 81 - 90 results for idiot comic strips. Discover the best "Idiot" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 01,
2012
Tags honesty, managers & supervisors, bad job, new assignment, poor job, matching skills, business
Transcript
Boss: Can you explain why you're doing such a bad job on your new assignment? Dilbert: Yes I can: some idiot did a poor job matching my skills to my assignment. Boss: Let's try it again, but this time say something bad about yourself. Dilbert: I'm too honest?
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday September 20,
2012
Tags anger, laziness, socially contagious, lazy vibe, killing motivation, angry
Transcript
Studies show that attitudes are socially contagious. I'm getting a lazy vibe from this idiot. It's totally killing my motivation. Oh, great. Now I'm unmotivated and angry, too.
Wednesday March 20,
2013
Tuesday April 30,
2013
Tags comic ends early, embedded punchline, follow passion, joking, made fat, set up, blank frame, sight gag
Transcript
Asok: I tried to follow my passion but it only made me fat. Dogbert: This comic ends early because some idiot embedded the punch line in the setup. Message to Readers
Friday May 31,
2013
Tags conversation, honesty, serial idiot, startup idea, business idea
Transcript
Dilbert: ...and that's my idea for a start-up. What do you think? Dogbert: I'm not a big fan of other people being successful, so I'll say the idea is terrible. Dilbert: Remind me why I talk to you. Dogbert: You're a serial entreprenidiot.
Sunday June 16,
2013
Tags interviews, lying, job interview, exaggerate credntials, more effective, business skill, misleading, convince customers, prodcuts, dupe some idiot, learn tech skills, honesty, hr, send offer, liar
Transcript
Dilbert: You look good on paper, but how do I know you aren't lying about your skills? Interviewee: You should hope I am lying. Studies show that people who exaggerate their credentials tend to be more effective once hired. That's because misleading people is a valuable business skill. For example, I might need to convince our customers that our products are better than the competition. Or I might need to dupe some idiot into leaving my cubicle so I can concentrate. Anyone can learn technical skills, but lying is an art form. Dilbert: He doesn't have an honest bone in his body. Boss: Perfect. I'll tell Human Resources to send him an offer.
Tuesday June 18,
2013
Tags ignorance (knowledge), work ethic, too many smart people, boost perfromance, strategy, not paying attention
Transcript
Boss: Studies say that having too many smart people in a group lowers productivity. So I seeded this project team with an idiot to boost performance. Coworker: My strategy of not paying attention in school is finally paying off.
Sunday September 01,
2013
Tags conversation, embarrassment, ignored, avoidance, avoid conversation, co worker, six months
Transcript
Dilbert: Uh-oh. It's that guy. Coworker: You never returned any of my messages. Dilbert: I was busy. Coworker: For six months? Dilbert: Well, no... only for a week. But it would have been awkward to respond after ignoring you for so long. Coworker: So your plan was to avoid me forever even though we work on the same floor? Dilbert: No. I've seen the quality of your work and I figured there was a 60% chance that you would die in a workplace accident that the average idiot could easily avoid. For the record, I'm the one who was trying to avoid this conversation.
Sunday February 23,
2014
Tags ignorance (knowledge), thinking, objection to plan, potential problems, works fine, system used, non zero chance, get rid of hospitals, idiot, normal life
Transcript
Dilbert: Does anyone have an objection to this plan? Coworker: In my opinion, there are too many potential problems. Dilbert: This system has been used for years in other places and works fine. Coworker: There is still a non-zero chance of problems. Dilbert: By that logic, we should get rid of hospitals because sometimes they make mistakes. Coworker: Gaaa!!! I just realized I'm an idiot! Dilbert: You can still lead a normal life. Wally: It only stings for a minute.
Wednesday July 02,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, son to work, Advice, age, idiots, career decisions, expecting, unforeseen problems, business
Transcript
Carol: I brought my son to work. Do you have any career advice for him? Dilbert: All boys your age are idiots. If you make any career decisions today, your life will forever be determined by an idiot. Boss: Are we expecting any unforeseen problems today? Dilbert: But you get used to it.


