Inventing Words Comic Strips - Page 9

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129 Results for Inventing Words

View 81 - 90 results for inventing words comic strips. Discover the best "Inventing Words" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2007's comic on:


Tags #made up words, #good laugh, #words, #incentement, #robustify, #flexitate, #leadershipping, #underboard, #moralify

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The Boss: Tina, I need you to edit this before I send it out. Sure. I could use a good laugh. Let's start with the words that aren't words." Incentiment...robustify...flexitate...and leadershipping." "I'll take those out and see what's left." "'If you're not onboard with quality excellence, you're underboard.'" "WA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!" "Why do I even bother trying to moralify these people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2007's comic on:


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Catbert: Evil director of human resources "I'd like to discuss my career plan." "The plan is that we'll keep you around until we find a starving Elbonian to do your job for less." "In other words, blah, blah, maybe someday you will get a promotion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #prepare proposal, #prodcuts, #expertise, #figure out, #expensive bidder, #bid low, #essential upgardes, #randomly assigned, #create lies, #proposal, #can't win

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The Boss: "Prepare a proposal for this customer." Dilbert: "Why me?" "You were walking by. I had it in my head." "We can't win this business. We don't have the right products or expertise." The Boss: "Just say we do. We'll figure it out later." Dilbert: "They know we don't. And we'd still be the most expensive bidder." The Boss: "Bid low. We'll make it up with change orders and unexpected essential upgrades." Dilbert: "In other words, I've been randomly assigned to create lies for a proposal we can't win for a service we can't perform." The Boss: "You make competing sound bad."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2007's comic on:


Tags #documentary on bugs, #insecure, #self centered, #walk, #date, #self involved

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Dilbert: "I saw a fascinating documentary about bugs." Date: "In other words, you like bugs more than you like me." "In other words, you like bugs more than you like me." Dilbert: "Yes, but I didn't realize it until just now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2007's comic on:


Tags #pretending, #loyal, #try to appear, #more loyal, #couldn't be more

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CatBert: "Wally, your choice of words leads us to think you are only pretending to be loyal to the company." wally: "Sorry. I'll try to appear more loyal in the future." CAtbert: "You did it again." Wally: "Don't be silly. I couldn't be more loyal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2007's comic on:


Tags #flash, #java script, #website, #fast guy in tights, #movie about coffee, #code words, #remember, #technology

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The Boss: Then we program the web site using a fast guy in tights and a movie about coffee. "Correct me if I'm wrong." Dilbert: "We use flash and java script." "I said 'IF'!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #aligns with priorities, #budget, #lying, #priorities, #questiong

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The Boss: Tina, put together a document showing how our budget aligns with out priorities. Tina: It doesn't. The Boss: Write it so it seems like it does. Tina: Isn't that lying? The Boss: I call it leadership by words.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #300 iq, #immortality drug, #impossible requirements, #job interview, #nobel peace prize, #time machine, #too old, #two centuires, #unix

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Old Man;I have all of the job requirements you're looking for." "I have an I.Q. of 300 several nobel prizes, and two centuries of unix experience, thanks to the time machine and immortality drug I invented. Catbert: That's a lot of words for 'too old.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #hands to boss, #insensitive, #plop, #toss, #worked all night, #disregard, #overlooked

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Dilbert: I worked all night to finish the assignments on time. The Boss: Toss it on the pile. Dilbert: I'd feel better if you used a different choice of words." The Boss: Plop it on the top.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #abe lincoln, #avoid comparisons, #fords theater, #media trainer, #sandwhich, #company future

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Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: Carefully choose your words when talking about the company's future. For example, avoid comparisons to Abe Lincoln at Ford's Theatre, 'Circling the drain,' and anything involving flies."And never, ever refer to the company as any kind of sandwich you wouldn't want to eat." CEO: That's my favorite one!"