Lazy Imposter Comic Strips - Page 9
Search Filters
Year
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
111 Results for Lazy Imposter
View 81 - 90 results for lazy imposter comic strips. Discover the best "Lazy Imposter" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 23,
2013
Tags #do nothing robot, #lazy, #replacement, #robot, #similar to man, #uncomplicated, #websites, #coffee drinker
Transcript
The Boss: I bought a robot to replace you. All it does is drink coffee and look at inappropriate websites. The boss: Did I forget anything? Wally: No, I not a complicated man.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday June 04,
2013
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #first draft, #blah blah blah, #worthless
Transcript
Wally: Let me know if you have any changes to my first draft. Coworker: This literally says the words "blah, blah, blah." Are you lazy? Wally: No, I'm worthless. Lazy would have been one "blah."
Friday September 20,
2013
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #project, #unstable applcation, #data model, #overly complex relational databse, #lazy, #business
Transcript
Boss: What's taking you so long on the project? Dilbert: The application is unstable because the data model is driven by an overly complex relational database and there was no integration testing. Boss: Does any of that mean the same thing as "lazy?"
Tuesday October 01,
2013
Tags #victims, #wages, #lazy, #undependable, #disruptive, #raise, #blamed victime, #money
Transcript
Boss: You're lazy, undependable, and disruptive. That's why I can't give you a raise this year. Dilbert: How'd it go? Wally: He blamed the victim.
Wednesday October 30,
2013
Tags #eating & drinking, #engineers, #etiquette & ethics, #crone, #etiquette class, #fork, #teach things
Transcript
Boss: I hired a desiccated crone to teach an etiquette class to you engineering heathens. She'll help you stop eating your business lunches like kidnap victims. Crone: When do you use this fork? Alice: When I'm too lazy to make a shiv?
Tuesday November 26,
2013
Tags #employees, #laziness, #shortcuts, #lazy, #business
Transcript
Wally: Experts say lazy employees are the best because they know how to find shortcuts. Boss: So you found a lot of shortcuts? Wally: Me/ No. I'm not lazy. I'm useless. Boss: Then why did you bring it up? Wally: Why wouldn't I? I"m not lazy.
Saturday August 30,
2014
Tags #executives, #how-to, #snobbishness, #book on success, #hard work, #wise decisions, #being lucky, #lazy and dumb
Transcript
CEO: I need you to co-author a book on success with me. The goal is to make readers believe success comes from hard work and wise decisions. So instead of hating me for being lucky, they will hate themselves for being lazy and dumb. Dogbert: And for buying your book?
Wednesday September 03,
2014
Tags #apathy, #dangerously incompetent, #last day of work, #lazy, #software, #tell everyone, #train, #unwarranted confidence, #engineering
Transcript
Coworker: This is my last day of work, so I won't have time to completely train you on the software. But I can show you enough to give you unwarranted confidence, when you should be feeling dangerously incompetent. Dilbert: That sounds worse than doing nothing. Coworker: Before I leave, I'll tell everyone you're lazy.
Tuesday February 24,
2015
Everyone Can Beat The Market Average
Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #investing, #investor, #stock market, #stock reserch, #money
Transcript
Boss: Asok, you can beat market averages by doing your own stock research. Asok: So... you believe every investor can beat the average by reading the same information? Boss: Yes. Asok: Makes you wonder why more people don't do it. Boss: Just lazy, I guess.
Wednesday May 06,
2015
If You Double Your Productivity
Tags #productivity, #work ethic, #reward, #wages, #double-standard, #money
Transcript
Dilbert: If I double my productivity, will you double my pay? Boss: No, but it might increase my bonus. So go ahead. Dilbert: Let's forget I brought it up. Boss: You just earned a "lazy" on your next review.