Little Arm Comic Strips - Page 9
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Dilbert sits on an examining table. A man with a stethoscope says, "I'd like to try a treatment which may seem unconventional." The man waves his arms and shouts, "Oh hear me, Omdahr, Demon of Gaath, heal this man's arm!!" Dilbert asks, "Has that ever worked?" The man replies, "Beats me. I've never tried it before." A demon's hand reaches toward the man's head.
Dilbert sits on an examining table holding his arm. A man with a stethoscope says, "You're healthy. That's fifty dollars." Dilbert says angrily, "You haven't even looked at my arm!" The man says, "Who's the doctor here?" Dilbert replies, "Apparently, neither of us." The man says, "Right. So it's just your word against mine."
Dilbert drives his car. He says, "Uh-oh, what's that lying in the road up there?" Dilbert says, "It looks like a squished animal, or maybe a bird." Dogbert sits in the passenger's seat. Dilbert continues, "I think it moved . . . Maybe it's still alive." Dogbert turns his head and says, "I don't want to look . . . It could be disgusting." Dilbert turns his head back and says, ". . . Can't resist. I have to look anyway." Dilbert screams and says, "It's disgusting!!" Dilbert says, "Oh, wait . . . It's just an old shoe." Dilbert cries, "What's that little blob up ahead?!" Dogbert replies, "I think it's your brain."
Dogbert stands in front of several men and says, "Welcome to Dogbert's School for aspiring Self-Service Gas Station Attendants." Dogbert continues, "I will teach you how to sit in a little building and do nothing." Dogbert continues, "These same skills can be transferred to a career in Congress or Fotomat." A student says, "Really? Fotomat?!"
Dilbert approaches a man standing next to a cart with a sign that says, "Nose Puppies $1.00." The man cries, "Nose puppies! Get your nose puppies!" Dilbert asks, "What's a nose puppy?" The man answers, "It's a little ceramic puppy that fits in your nose." The man continues, "'Find a need and fill it,' is my motto."
A man stands next to a cart with a sign that says, "Nose Puppies $1.00." The man says to Dilbert, "I make them myself. Each one is hand-painted." The man continues, "They weren't selling until I came up with the concept of sticking them up people's noses." The man continues, "I'm not in it for the money. I just want to leave this world a little better than I found it."
Andy says to Dogbert, "I have practiced religion for one day and not attained fulfillment." Dogbert responds, "That's because you're an android. You have no soul." Andy asks, "No soul?" Andy asks, "What is a little creature with no soul supposed to do?" Dilbert responds, "Well, Sonny Bono married Cher . . ."
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I've decided to replace your department with machines." The Boss points to a toy on the desk and says, "Your job will be filled by this little bird that bobs his head up and down." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then I said 'Ha! It would take at least THREE of those birds to do MY job!"
Dilbert sits in his chair watching television. As he clicks through the channels with the remote control, he thinks, "Uh-oh . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I'm paralyzed by the television." Dilbert thinks, "I'm uninterested in the shows, yet I can't stop clicking through all the channels." Dogbert sits on his pillow in the other room. Dilbert shouts, "Dogbert! Help! Come quickly!!" Dilbert yells, "Do something! Knock the remote out of my hand!!" Dogbert tackles Dilbert's arm and the remote control flies out of his hand. Dilbert stands up and cries, "I'm free!! I'm free!!" Dogbert sits on the hassock clicking through the tv channels.
Ratbert and Dogbert sit on a hassock. Ratbert says, "All this week I've been testing Madonna's 'Compulsion' perfume at the lab." Dogbert asks, "Any side effects?" Ratbert replies, "Heck no . . . Unless you consider marrying a bunsen burner a 'side effect.'" Ratbert asks, "Say . . . Who's that cute little filly on the table?!" Dogbert responds, "We call her the lamp."