Market Share Comic Strips - Page 9
196 Results for Market Share
View 81 - 90 results for market share comic strips. Discover the best "Market Share" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 27, 2001's comic on:
Alice enters The Boss' office and says, "My performance exceeds expectations but my pay is based on market averages." Alice continues, "I figure some underachievers are getting the extra money that I earn." Alice continues, "Give me their names so I can go get my money." The Boss replies, "It's Wally."
Share September 07, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert are eating breakfast. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Is there more to life than just working?" Dogbert replies, "Yes. There's also the complaining about work. The nightly periods of unconsciousness and sweet, sweet death." Dilbert replies, "Maybe I should have kids." Dogbert responds, "To share the joy?"
Share September 17, 2001's comic on:
The Boss is reading a newspaper. Catbert is standing on his desk. The Boss says, "The job market is getting worse every day!" Catbert replies, "Excellent!" The Boss chuckles and says, "Employees will be afraid. Our power to abuse them grows stronger by the minute!" Catbert grins widely. Catbert grins and dances. The Boss laughs and exclaims, "Ha ha! Stop doing the 'Evil Dance!' You're killing me!"
Share September 18, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches from behind and asks, "How's the ol' job market lately? It's pretty bad, isn't it?" The Boss continues, "So no matter how hard I make you work it's still better than being unemployed." Dilbert turns in surprise. The Boss says, "Who's your leader? Go on, say it." Dilbert puts his head in his hands and replies quietly, "You are."
Share September 19, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Dogbert Consults. Dogbert says to The Boss, "It's easy to create a strategy." Dogbert continues, "Write down everything you do, preceded by the phrase, 'increase our market share by...'" The Boss asks, "What if we change what we do?" Dogbert responds, "Call me and I'll sell you some more valuable advice."
Share October 08, 2001's comic on:
The Boss says to Asok and Dilbert, "Our CEO has voluntarily slashed his pay from six million per year to four." The Boss continues, "In a written statement he said he wants to 'share the pain.' The Boss asks, "Do you feel better now?" Asok replies, "I make my own underwear from sandwich bags."
Share October 15, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Dogbert is standing on his desk. Dogbert says, "I'd be a good stock market expert." Dogbert continues, "I'd buy stocks and then go on TV and recommend them so they go up." Dilbert asks, "What about the fundamentals?" Dogbert replies, "It doesn't get more fundamental than that!"
Share October 16, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert sits behind a desk in front of a camera. The cameraman hands him a microphone and says, "Clip this microphone to your fur. We're live in two." Dogbert responds, "Make sure my tail is off camera. I'll be recommending stocks I own and that sort of thing makes me wag." The cameraman thinks to himself, "Someday I gotta get honest work."
Share October 17, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert says in front of the camera, "...Everyone should buy stock in that company. Sell your house if necessary." A man replies into the camera, "Should we worry that the P/E is 900, your track record is terrible and you only recommend stocks you own?" The Boss is sitting in his office watching TV. Dogbert's voice is heard through the TV, "Well, Ron, as you can see from the one-week chart, this stock only goes up." The Boss says into the phone, "Buy! Buy!"
Share October 18, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert is seen through a TV screen. He says, "If your core holding is a falling knife, you can dollar cost average through the dead cat bounce." A man is watching TV on his couch. Dogbert's voice continues, "My secret economic model says you should change your cash allocation from 12.4% to 12.3%." Dogbert and the TV interviewer are seen through a spilt screen on the TV. Dogbert says, "My new book is, 'If you aren't churning, you aren't learning." The interviewer replies, "Don't come back."