Mean Comic Strips - Page 9
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333 Results for Mean
View 81 - 90 results for mean comic strips. Discover the best "Mean" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 26,
1998
Tags maintain urgency, speed is key, faster than competition, sign stuff, logical questions, motivational messages
Transcript
The boss says, "WE must maintain a sense of urgency. Speed is the key. We must be faster than the competition." Dilbert says, "Does that mean you'll sign the stuff that's been on your desk for a month?" Dilbert is at home. Dilbert says, to Dogbert, "Logical questions don't mix with motivational messages."
Tuesday May 25,
1999
Tags bathrobe, 30% raise, dont quit, terry cloth rebel
Transcript
Dilbert wears a bathroom and carries a briefcase. Dilbert walks by the boss. The boss thinks, "A bathrobe! This can only mean he found out how much market power an engineer has." The boss says, "I'll give you a 30% raise if you don't quit!!" Dilbert says, "Um.. okay." A women with several piercings says, "Take me, you terry-cloth rebel."
Thursday September 30,
1999
Tags internet business idea, sent idea, five companies, space
Transcript
The Boss says, off-frame, to Dilbert, "I like your internet business idea. Let's do it." Dilbert, off-frame says to The Boss, "I sent you that idea a year ago. Since then, five companies have gone IPO in that space." The Boss says, "Can we buy one of them?" Dilbert says, "If by 'one' you mean one share of stock, yes."
Thursday January 13,
2000
Tags didn't listen, good work, magazine, more assignments, new boss, boss, secretary
Transcript
Carol hands a sheet of paper to Alice who is at her computer and says: "When you finish this, I have more assignments for you." Alice says to Carol: "Carol, you're the boss's secretary, not my boss. And this is a page from a magazine." Carol says to Alice: "Keep up the good work." Alice answers surprised: "You didn't listen. That can only mean you're the new boss."
Thursday April 27,
2000
Tags new engineering liason, claims of meaning
Transcript
Wally approaches the Engineering Liaison and says, "I understand you're the new Engineering Liaison." Wally asks, "Does that mean what I think it means?" She does not reply. Wally says to Asok, "She claims it doesn't mean that." Asok replies, "Ohhh."
Tuesday July 04,
2000
Tags adventures of lulu, no sense of proportion, assinment, work, declares war, anger, resentment
Transcript
The adventures of LULU The woman who has no sense of proportion. GAAA! Does this mean you hate me?!! The Boss: Its called and assignment. LULU: This is war.
Thursday November 02,
2000
Tags begging for job, boss, callous, mean, office
Transcript
Ted, who has the letter 'E' painted on his chest, says to The Boss, "Catbert says I have to get a new job within the company." Ted says, "Could you find it within your heart..." The Boss, reaching for a heart on his desk, says, "I'll check." Ted watches as The Boss looks at the heart. The Boss says, "Nope. No jobs in there."
Sunday December 10,
2000
Tags doing it wrong, response time, sub second, two seconds, always right, never wrong, screaming
Transcript
Noriko says to Dilbert, "And we'll have sub-second response time. Dilbert says to Noriko, "Actually, it's already two seconds, and your change will add two more." Noriko exclaims to Dilbert, "Why do you always have to be right?!" Noriko says to Dilbert, "Just once can't you admit I'm right?" Dilbert says, "Okay, I admit that two plus two equals less than one." Noriko says, "I don't mean now, jerk. I mean in general." Dilbert says, "Okay. In general I admit that the rules of physics are optional." Noriko exclaims, "You're doing it wrong!!" Dilbert says, "You're right. My fault again."
Monday December 18,
2000
Tags casula dress, encourage flirtatious, ladies concentrate, seater, turtleneck, warning cones
Transcript
Wally says to The Boss, "I worry that casual dress days encourage flirtatious behavior." Wally says, "I mean, look how adorable I am in my turtleneck sweater. How are the ladies supposed to concentrate?" Wally says to The Boss, "Do you think I should put warning cones around my cubicle?"
Thursday February 08,
2001
Tags ceo, goal set, illadvised, impossible goal, life, other people, whats wrong life
Transcript
Dilbert sits opposite The Boss' desk and hears The Boss say, "You have failed to meet a goal set by our CEO." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Do you mean the impossible goal, the ill-advised one, or the one you didn't tell me about?" Carrying his briefcase, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I figured out what's wrong with life: It's other people."


