Most Talented Comic Strips - Page 9

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246 Results for Most Talented

View 81 - 90 results for most talented comic strips. Discover the best "Most Talented" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr dircetor, #boss didn't see struggle, #low performance, #alice, #human resources binder, #downsize

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Alice sits across from Catbert's desk. She says, "I was so good at my job that I never needed to bother my boss, but he gave me a low rating because he didn't see me struggling." Catbert replies, "I must refer to my human resources binders to see how to deal with this." Catbert looks at a bookcase filled with binders. Most of the binders are labeled "Downsize" and a few are labeled "Hire Losers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1997's comic on:


Tags #most absurd activity, #timecard, #no project code, #staring at wall, #fretting, #reorganization, #training, #their or liar

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Dilbert sits at his desk and thinks, "And now for the most absurd activity of the week: the timecard." Dilbert thinks, "There's no project code for 'staring at the wall and fretting about the reorganization.' I'll call it 'training.'" Dilbert hands the timecard to Carol and says, "Before I worked here I wasn't a thief or a liar." Carol replies, "You can't get that kind of training in school."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #new policy, #official company font, #obscure, #impractical font, #elbonia, #elbonian font

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Catbert stands at his desk and types, "New policy: all company documents MUST use the official company font . . ." Catbert purrs and thinks, "Let's see . . . What would be the most obscure and impractical font imaginable?" The caption says, "Somewhere in Elbonia." Dilbert tells an Elbonian, "I understand I can get the Elbonian font software from you." The man replies, "Yep. Unless you need consonants for some reason."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 1997's comic on:


Tags #article, #boss, #alice, #highlighted, #save time, #page numbers, #dont notice

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Alice stands at the entrance to her cubicle. The Boss offers her a piece of paper and says, "Alice, I found this article in a magazine." The Boss continues, "I highlighted the most important stuff to save you some time." Alice says, "You highlighted the page numbers." The Boss says, "It takes forever if you don't notice those."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1997's comic on:


Tags #rumor, #south dakota, #ceo, #grew up, #near parents, #baby sitting, #most cycnical, #blushing

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Dilbert and Dogbert go for a walk. Dilbert says, "There's a rumor that my company will move to South Dakota, but I don't believe it." Dogbert stands on a rock and says, "South Dakota... isn't that where your CEO grew up? Maybe he wants to be near his parents to get free baby-sitting." Dilbert checks the mailbox. Dilbert holds a letter and says, "That's the most cynical thought I've ever heard in my life." Dogbert says, "Thanks, I'm blushing under my fur."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 1997's comic on:


Tags #mutual fund, #investors, #know alternatives, #huge market, #invest, #index fund, #wag hard

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Dilbert sits on the couch. Dogbert says, "I'm starting a mutual fund for investors who aren't bright enough to know their alternatives." Dogbert says, "It must be a huge market. Otherwise most people would invest in index funds." Dilbert asks, "What's an index fund?" Dogbert wags his tail and says, "Ouch, ouch!! You're making me wag too hard!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1997's comic on:


Tags #monkeys, #pick stocks, #dogbert mutual fund, #better professional, #employee only monkeys, #high fees, #hiring the best, #paid commercial

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On television, Dogbert speaks in a paid commercial about his mutual fund. Dogbert says, "Studies have shown that monkeys can pick stocks better than most professionals." The Boss watches the tv commercial. Dogbert says, "That's why the Dogbert mutual fund employs only monkeys." Dogbert sits at a desk surrounded by monkeys. Dogbert says, "Yes, our fees are high, but I don't apologize for hiring the best."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1997's comic on:


Tags #baseball, #forgeries, #low investment, #moses, #sports memorabilia, #worth something, #autographs, #Sports

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Dilbert sits in an easy chair using his laptop computer. Dogbert stands on a side table and wags his tail. He says, "I'm going into the sports memorabilia business." Dogbert tosses a baseball in his hand and says, "I've heard that most autographs are forgeries, so my initial investment will be low." Dogbert says, "Can I interest you in a baseball signed by Moses?" Dilbert says, "Wow! That's going to be worth something."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 1997's comic on:


Tags #problems, #waiting it out, #standing motionless, #reorganization

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Bob says to Asok, "Most problems go away if you wait long enough, Asok." Asok sits next to his computer looking dejected. Bob says, "It might look like I'm standing motionless, but I'm actively waiting for our problems to go away." The Boss pokes his head in Asok's cubicle and says, "There's been a reorganization..." Bob says, "I don't know why this works, but it does." Asok smiles.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 1997's comic on:


Tags #engineering conference, #most valuable asset, #decline, #overtime, #assets decline, #fine art, #every year, #louve, #certification of depreciation, #earned your air

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The Boss is on stage behind a podium and speaks to the crowd. "The theme of this engineering conference is..." Dilbert, Wally, and Alice sit in the front row. The Boss continues, "Employees are our most valuable asset." He says, "And lik emost assets, you decline in value over time." He says, "I know what you're thinking: Not all assets decline in value." He says, "For example, fine art is worth more every year." The Boss points to an image of Wally and says, "But I don't think the Louvre will be asking for one of these anytime soon." The Boss introduces Catbert and says, "On your way our, Mister Catbert will give each one of you a certificate of depreciation." Wally says, "It's still better than last year's theme, "Have you earned your air today?" Catbert hands Dilbert his award.