No Clear Goal Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

152 Results for No Clear Goal

View 81 - 90 results for no clear goal comic strips. Discover the best "No Clear Goal" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #cable compnay, #new glasses, #couch, #couch tech support

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert works for the cable company "If your picture is fuzzy then get new glasses." "If my glasses are theproblem, why does the couch look perfectly clear?" "Good question. Please hold while I transfer your to couch tech support."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #major corproation, #dream, #risk taker, #achieves goal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "Ratbert, would you like to be the CEO of a major corporation?" "That had always been my dream...until I found this extension cord to gnaw on. Now I'm committed to seeing it through." "He's a risk taker who won't stop until h achieves his goal."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Welcome to Dogbert's Anger Management Seminar." "My goal is to transform you from angry nuts into..." "Angry nuts who have paid me." "I need a volunteer for our first demonstration. You, come here." "Put your head about here." "Now try to control your anger while I do this..." WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP "Maybe you didn't get enough sleep last night."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #catch and release, #ceo seminar, #hurt fish, #inform life, #new spouse, #philosophy, #set free, #spin off compnay, #without making decisions, #be decisive

View Transcript

Transcript

"Welcome to Dogbert's catch-and-release CEO seminar." "Catch-and-release is more than a way to hurt fish for entertainment." "It's a philosophy that will inform your entire life." "For example, when you acquire a new company, wait a few years and then spin it off." "When you catch a new spouse, wait a few years and then set it free." Boot! "When you golf, hit that ball into a hole and then take it out." "Your ultimate goal is to look decisive without making any real decisions." "Good seminar. It makes fishing more fun when you know it hurts them!" "Ouch!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"What the...? How can you be relaxed with so much work to do?" "Your mistake is taking pride in how much work you can complete." "You see, Alice, there's an infinite quantity of potential work." "But it's only possible to do a finite amount." "You have set yourself up for certain failure according to your own arbitrary standard." "By way of contrast, I take pride in not taking pride in my work." "I've already achieved my goal and it's not even lunch time yet." "Don't you need a new goal for after lunch?" "I'm aiming for a distended stomach."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

We can kick a field goal in the ninth inning if we use a full-court press. "Remember that you drive for show but you pick up the spare for dough." "Have you been helping Alice with her sports metaphors?" "Perhaps."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goals for th eyear, #replace my soul, #become immortal, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, what are your goals for the coming year? Wally: My goal is to replace my soul with coffee and become immortal. The boss: I mean something about work. Wally: Oh, I thought you said MY goals."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goal, #rewrite law, #supply & demand, #toss a purr

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Asok: I need a goal. What can I do to get a raise? Catbert: Try rewriting the law of supply and demand. Asok: Harsh. Catbert: I have to toss a purr your way."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brilliant ideas, #carnage, #honesty, #ignorance, #ludicrous ideas, #mean spirited, #mistaken self image, #roll eyes, #share project, #verbally demolish

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, I'm hoping we can work together on this project in the spirit of cooperation. I'll have some ideas, and you'll have some ideas, and together we can pick the best ones. Alice: Sure, that's one approach. But I prefer to exhale deeply and roll my eyes while you prattle. Then I will verbally demolish your ludicrous ideas, and dismantle your mistaken self-image as a competent man. The carnage will create a striking contrast for the warm, clear glow of my brilliant ideas. Later, I will round out the package by spreading amusing stories about how ignorant you are. Is there any chance of doing it my way? Alice: Now watch the eyes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #powerpoint slide, #hired to identify, #goals of org., #show you sldie, #get paid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consultant Dogbert says, "I've been hired to identify the most important goals of your organization." Dilbert says, "how will you do that?" Dogbert says, "I'll ask you what they are, and you'll tell me." Dogbert says, "Then I'll put your answers on a PowerPoint slide." Dogbert says, "Next week I'll show you the slide and tell you to focus on your most important goals." Dogbert says, "Then I'll get paid. Because that's MY most important goal." Dogbert says, "WOO-HOO! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING!" Dogbert says, "I lead by example."