Parking Lot Comic Strips - Page 9
Search Filters
Year
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
221 Results for Parking Lot
View 81 - 90 results for parking lot comic strips. Discover the best "Parking Lot" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 20,
2003
Tags #functions to outsorce, #dont do well, #management, #sales, #quality control, #core competenece, #brown table startegy, #business
Transcript
Dilbert points to a slide and says, "As requested, I put together a list of functions we should outsource." Dilbert continues, "I limited my list to things we don't do well." The Boss and Wally listen as Dilbert's voice continues, "Marketing, quality control, engineering, finance, human resources, and customer support." Dilbert says, "That leaves us with our core competence..." Dilbert continues, "... Sitting around a brown table." Dilbert says, "And, of course, our ability to speak honestly without fear of retribution." The Boss says, "You will never get another raise as long as I'm alive." Dilbert responds, "Well, that puts a lot of pressure on the brown table strategy."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday July 21,
2003
Tags #psychics on televison, #software testing staff, #one medium, #punish them
Transcript
"I've noticed that deadd people know a lot. They're always yapping to psychics on television." "We could kill the entire software-testing staff and replace them with one medium." "Do you see any problem with that?" "If the dead people lie, how would we punish them?"
Thursday September 18,
2003
Tags #actual question, #delivery, #fantasize, #imaginary one, #plastic casing, #ripping moustache, #two week
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you order the plastic casings I need? They take two weeks for delivery. DIlbert: I see that you've cleverly avoided my actual question in favor of an imaginary one involving delivery times. Now Im fantasizing about ripping off your mustache and using it to shine your head. I hear that a lot.
Tuesday November 11,
2003
Tags #boss stalker, #wait, #offcie, #unscheduled, #suck up, #phone calls end, #still out there
Transcript
Man: "We'll be seeing a lot of each other. I'm a stalker." "I wait by his office, unscheduled, ready to suck up to his whenever his phone calls end." The Boss: "Please don't go.. it's still out there."
Tuesday March 09,
2004
Tags #enjoyable job, #complaining spouse, #enjoy being at work
Transcript
Dilbert: How can I make my job more enjoyable? Garbageman: Get a spouse who complains a lot and then have a few kids. Dilbert: Thats sound awful. Garbageman: you won't believe how much you enjoy being at work.
Thursday June 24,
2004
Tags #resume, #stole stuff, #great stuff, #caught in parking lot, #technically not stealing, #buried german tourust, #guilty, #crazy, #admits to bizarreness
Transcript
The Boss: "According to your resume, you left your last job because you allegedly stole lots of great stuff." "Technically, if they catch you in the parking lot, and you give it back, that's not stealin'." "And you buried a German tourist in your cellar." "One time!"
Wednesday October 13,
2004
Tags #p/u ratio, #sky rocketing, #productivity, #useful, #mistake, #distarction, #backwards
Transcript
"Your P/U ratio is skyrocketing again." "My what?" "Productivity-to-usefulness. It means you produce a lot, but everything you produce is a mistake or a distraction." "I told you last time to do less work!" "Oooh... I did that backwards."
Wednesday November 17,
2004
Tags #vendor, #couldn't say no, #customized, #our needs assembled and insalled, #preloathing, #promises you won't keep
Transcript
The vendor who couldn't say no, DIlbertL I need fifteen units bu tuesday. You got it, Dilbert: I want them customized for our needs assembled and installed by wednesday. You got it! Dilbert: Im loathing yo in advance for making promises you won't keep, Pre loathing I get that a lot,\.
Tuesday February 22,
2005
Tags #small business, #credit check, #policy, #deadbeat, #imply, #accepts acorns
Transcript
Dilbert: "I have to do a credit check on your company before we do any work. It's our policy." Small Businessman: "I resent that! Just because I'm a small businessman, that doesn't mean I'm a deadbeat!" Dilbert: "I didn't mean to imply..." Small businessman: "Do you know if the parking garage accepts acorns?"
Friday March 11,
2005
Tags #company relocating, #high crime, #tax reasons, #ceo says, #limo, #parking garage, #chain bike to whino, #advice from ceo
Transcript
The Boss: "Our company will be relocating to a high-crime area for tax reasons." "Our CEO says don't worry about your safety because your limo can pull right into the underground parking garage." "Then he added, "Or chain your bicycle to a wino. Whatever."