Practice Interview Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

153 Results for Practice Interview

View 81 - 90 results for practice interview comic strips. Discover the best "Practice Interview" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #interview, #job, #employment, #humiliation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I bought the company that fired you. Now you can interview with me for your old job." Dilbert says, "You already know everything about me. An interview would have no purpose other than to humiliate me." "Dogbert says, "Since when do things need two purposes?" "Is Tuesday good?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #job, #running, #questions, #economy, #business, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Job interview Dogbert says, "Would you take a bullet for the team?" Dilbert says, "Um?sure." Dogbert says, "Good. The team is already at the firing range waiting for you." Zing Zing Zing Dilbert thinks, "Stupid weak economy!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #job, #hanging, #ridiculous, #humiliation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "In your first round of interviews we tested your reaction to humiliation and small arms fire." Dogbert says, "In round two I will test your ability to keep company secrets." Ratbert says, "When are you going to tell him this is a courtesy interview?" Dilbert says, "What?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job, #interview, #disappointment, #humiliation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "You survived the rigorous interview process, but there are no openings in engineering." Dogbert says, "However, I am prepared to offer you a position in sales." Dilbert says, "You mean a job?" Dogbert says, "No, just a position." Dilbert says, "This took and ugly turn."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #hiring, #policy, #cruelty

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss says, "You're hired, but company policy requires me to post the job opening internally before it's official." Man says, "Are you saying your company policy requires you to lie to employees and give them false hope?" The boss says, "Exactly." Man says,. "That's cruel." The boss says, "In six months you'll wish you had some false hope too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiring, #interview, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I'm hiring you because you're huge and scary." The boss says, "Our economic forecast calls for the emergence of warlords in 2010." The boss says, "Have you ever pillaged?" Man says, "No, I just go on fake interviews to scope out targets."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scoffing, #dismissive, #ignoring, #practicing, #compliment

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Book some one-on-one meetings for me so I can practice my new dismissive scoffing sound." Dilbert says, "?And then I think we should?" The boss says, "Phhht!" Dilbert says, "I like what you've done with your dismissive scoffing sound." The boss says, "20% more spittle!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #trick, #scheme, #selling, #laptops, #disappointed, #stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

Job interview Dogbert says, "Do you have any sales experience?" Man says, "No, but I?" Dogbert says, "Okay, whatever." Dogbert says, "There's no base pay. You only get paid opn commission." Dogbert says, "And you'll need a special laptop for this job." Dogbert says, "you can buy it from our company with a 5% employee discount." Dogbert says, "You're hired." Man says, "Yes! And my friends told me I would never find a sales job in this weak economy!" Man says, "By the way, what does the company sell?" Dogbert says, "We sell laptops to idiots."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #asking, #Family, #large, #leaving, #trouble, #busy, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss says, "Do you have any relatives?" Man says, "Yes, I have a huge family." The boss says, "In any given week, how many of them are dying, graduating, going to jail, or getting married?" Man says, "Maybe?six." The Boss says, "When would you have time to work?" Man says, "I have to go. Someone fell out of a tree."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training, #new software, #trick, #hire, #job opening, #interview, #technical expert, #provide

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I need training to use our new software." The Boss says, "Pretend we have a job opening for a technical expert in that field. Then ask applicants how they would do whatever it is that you need to do." Man says, "Does you company provide training?" Dilbert says, "'Provide' is a strong word."