Raise Fist Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for raise fist comic strips. Discover the best "Raise Fist" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assertive men, #woman, #b word, #boxer, #bitch, #fist of death, #fist in face

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Alice has a man stuck on her hand post fist of death. The boss says, "Alilce, it's okay for men to be assertive, but when a woman acts that way..." The boss says, "Well, it's the "b" word." Alice says, "Boxer?" The boss says, "O-o-okay."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #new engineer, #cheap, #huge raise, #under budget, #static electricity, #fuzzy cute, #dead now

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Title reads: "Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert is at his desk. He says to Dilbert, "I hired a new engineer for your project." Catbert unveils the new engineer. He is a joke. His tongue hangs out of his mouth, his eyes are wide, his collar is up and one side of his shirt is untucked. Catbert says, "He's never been an engineer before." Dilbert listens as Catbert continues, "But YOU'RE an engineer, so how hard could it be?" Catbert adds, "And he's cheap! I'll get a huge raise for being under budget." Dilbert is getting furious. Catbert exclaims, "And your project will fail! Ha Ha Ha Ha!" As the new engineer reaches towards him, Catbert realizes, "Uh-oh. I laughed myself full of static electricity." The new engineer thinks, "Fuzzy. Cute." and pets Catbert. "Zap!" Dilbert, standing over the body of the new engineer, asks, "He's dead. Now what?" Catbert replies, "I guess you'll have to drag him to the meetings."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slipping again, #most severe, #disciplinary action, #watch eat, #monster

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Wally sits in the boss' office. The boss says, "Wally. your performance is slipping again." The boss says, "That calls for my most severe disciplinary action." The boss begins to eat a sandwich. Wally looks horribly shocked, his hair stand on end. Wally shakes. Asok says, "He made you watch him eat?" Dilber raises his fist and says, "Monster!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation days, #raise, #e, #ployees, #change vacation days, #permission, #more empowered

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Alice is standing in front of the Bosses desk, the Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because you came to work on one of your vacation days." The Boss says, "Employees are not allowed to change vacation days without permission." The Boss says, "On an unrelated note, try to be more empowered."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #face time, #software, #man makes face, #imitating worker, #discourage from raise, #costs money, #discouraging, #engineering

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The Boss: Come in to the VP's office with me. you need to get some face time. Dilbert: What is Face Time? The Boss: Its very important. man: and this is you asking for a raise.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company saidst, #fist of death, #note from author, #big bag, #dumpster, #disclaimer, #nothing bad happened

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Extremely angry, Alice approaches the sadist who sits at his computer. She rolls up her sleeves and says, "Okay,sadist, it's time to meet the fist of death. A note from the author forewarns his readers that nothing bad or violent happens to the sadist. The author's note reads: If you are the sort of person who is influenced by comic strips, I assure you nothing bad or violent happens next. Alice and the sadist discuss their differences and become lifelong friends. As Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit together eating lunch, Dilbert asks Alice "What was in that big bag I helped you drag to the dumpster?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #grossly underpaid, #Dilbert, #work for money, #valuable, #money, #challanges, #work for challenges, #exchange

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Dilbert says to the Boss, "I'm grossly underpaid. I want a raise." The Boss replies, "Oh, Dilbert, Dilbert, Dilbert." Dilbert responds, " What? What? What?" The Boss says to Dilbert, "People don't work here for money." The Boss continues in an enthused voice. "They work here for the challenge!" Dilbert answers, "If challenges are more valuable than money..." Dilbert continues, "Why don't you give me your money and I'll give you my challenges." After a moment of silence, Dilbert says "Well?" The Boss thinks to himself, "I must kill him before he infects the others."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #perfromance evaluation, #3% raise, #earn a billion, #steals as much

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Write a performance evaluation for yourself." The Boss continues, "Shoot for about 3% raise...because that's what you're getting." Dilbert's computer states, "Dilbert's inventions will earn a billion dollars. But we think he steals almost as much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tape pencil, #hand, #raise, #would be unethical, #ten percent, #hiccup damage, #moral compass

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Asok the Intern watches Wally taping a pencil to the hand of The Boss who is comatose. Wally says, "I'll tape a pencil to his hand and use it to sign off on a raise for me." Asok the Intern says to Wally, "That would be so unethical... hiccup. May I have ten percent?" Wally works on getting the pencil into the comatose Boss' hand as Asok says, "That hiccup damaged my moral compass."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #billion shares, #dot com subsidary, #fire everyone, #presdient, #raise, #stock, #promoting

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm promoting you to president of our dot-com subsidiary." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Your job is to fire everyone." Dilbert asks, "Would I get a raise?" The Boss answers, "How does a billion shares of stock sound?"