Reading Zero Comic Strips - Page 9

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241 Results for Reading Zero

View 81 - 90 results for reading zero comic strips. Discover the best "Reading Zero" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1995's comic on:


Tags #attractive incentives, #elbonia, #zero taxes, #cheerful, #leave labor, #environmental regulations, #best you can do, #lawn ornament

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The Boss, Dogbert and an Elbonian sit around a conference table. The Elbonian says, "We're offering attractive incentives to companies that move to Elbonia." The Elbonian continues, "Zero taxes, cheerful slave labor, amnesty from any inconvenient laws, and absolutely no environmental regulations!" The Boss asks, "Is that the best you can do?" The Elbonian hands a baby across the table and says, "Here, use my first born son as a lawn ornament."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1995's comic on:


Tags #pundits, #press, #keyboard with no q, #public relations, #fiasco, #engineering solution, #graphics program, #semi colon

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk, reading a newspaper. Dilbert says, "The pundits in the press are nailing us for shipping a keyboard with no 'Q.'" Dilbert continues, "It's a public-relations fiasco. Obviously, we need an engineering solution. I'm on the case." Dilbert and Wally sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Users could use a graphics program to draw a 'Q' in the unlikely event that they need one." Wally says, "Or we could replace the semi-colon; nobody uses them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 1995's comic on:


Tags #spare cubicles, #convicts, #bigot, #little mistake, #health plan better

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Dogbert stands in Dilbert's cubicle wearing a hard hat and reading some construction plans. Dilbert says, "I don't think it's fair to put convicts in our spare cubicles." Dogbert says, "Don't be such a bigot. These people have made one little mistake. Otherwise, they're just like employees." Dilbert says, "I think there are a few differences!" Dogbert responds, "Yeah, their health plan is better."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 1995's comic on:


Tags #retiring, #media, #vast weath, #property, #agree to be puppet, #kermit, #muppet, #lease, #Entertainment

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Dilbert sits on the couch reading with one knee bent. Dogbert stands on the cushion next to him. Dogbert says, "I'm retiring from my media empire and putting my vast wealth into real estate." Dogbert continues, "My plan is to buy all the property on earth and evict everybody who doesn't agree to be my puppet." Dilbert asks, "Can I be Kermit?" Dogbert hands Dilbert a document and says, "That's a 'Muppet.' It's all spelled out in your lease."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dysfunctional team, #learned in workshop, #listen, #heart felt, #respect, #ham radio license, #going first

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Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "I'd like each of you to tell the team what you learned in my workshop." Alice says, "I learned to listen with my heart. I gained respect for others. I understand Sanskrit. I got my ham radio license. I can divide by zero . . ." As the Boss looks shocked, Alice thinks to herself, "I love going first."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bring to read, #book of tips, #new computer golf game, #reading book, #computer simulation, #almost sport, #non organic life form, #driving little cart

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Liz and Dilbert are seated beneath a tree reading books. She asks him, "What did you bring to read?" Dilbert responds, "It's a book of tips for my new computer golf game." Liz comments, "So . . . you're reading a book . . . about a computer simulation . . . of an activity that's ALMOST a sport . . ." Liz continues, "That's about as close as you can get to being a non-organic life form." Dilbert says, "This chapter is about driving the little cart."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 1995's comic on:


Tags #open door policy, #new vp, #drop in, #last vp was aloof, #sourballs, #furniture, #cubicles are hot, #huge insincere spider

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally stands behind him and says, "Our new VP says he has an 'open door policy.' Let's check it out." Wally and Dilbert peer into the VP's office. Dilbert says, "Knock knock." Dilbert says, "Hi ho. Nothing important. We just wanted to drop in." The VP sits at his desk reading a document. Wally says, "This open door policy is great. Our last VP was aloof." Dilbert asks, "Are those sourballs?" Wally says, "Look at the furniture in here!" Dilbert stuffs candy into his mouth and says, "I call couch!" The VP asks, "Is there something I can do for you?" Dilbert lies on a couch and says, "Well . . . Sometimes our cubicles are too hot." Wally sits in a chair and adds, "Could you have somebody look into it?" Dilbert and Wally leave the office looking frightened. Dilbert says, "Boy, those sourballs sure lull you into a false sense of security." Wally says, "The man is like a huge insincere spider."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 1995's comic on:


Tags #catbert the hr director, #invent illogical policies, #annoy emplyees, #diabolical dress code, #question sanity, #casual clothes, #wally insane

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Catbert is at his desk. He thinks, "I think I'll invent some illogical policies to annoy employees." Catbert continues thinking, "My diabolical new dress code will make them question their own sanity." Reading a document, Dilbert tells Wally, ". . . So, casual clothes DON'T lower our stock value . . . but only if worn on Fridays . . . unless somebody sees us . . . Got it?" Wally puts his hands on his head and replies, "I think I'm insane."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dating for a year, #needs can't fulfill, #internet been broken

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Dilbert and Liz sit on the floor leaning against the couch. Dilbert says, "We've been dating for a year now, Liz. There's something I'd like to do tonight . . ." Dilbert and Liz hold hands as Dilbert continues, "There are some needs that I can't fulfill at work." Liz says, "I understand." Dilbert sits at the desk and shouts, "Yes! Yes!" Liz sits behind him reading a book. She asks, "How long has your Internet connection at work been broken?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 1995's comic on:


Tags #alice, #janitor, #over time pay, #75k per year, #basment, #reading magazines, #fishing, #engineer, #no over time, #Sports, #engineering

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Alice sits at her desk. The janitor stands in her cubicle door and says, "Working late again, huh, Alice?" Alice says, "Seventy hours this week . . ." The janitor replies, "Me too. Thank goodness for overtime pay!" Alice looks shocked and asks, "Overtime pay?" The janitor says, "Allow me to explain." The janitor draws a graph and says, "Unlike you so-called 'exempt' employees, my income increases if I work additional hours." The janitor continues, "I'm pulling in seventy-five thousand a year. And half the time I just hide in the basement reading 'Fishing' magazine." The janitor continues, "The only down side is that I don't get to enjoy the intellectual stimulation of my co-workers the way you do." The janitor sits in the basement reading a magazine. He thinks, "I don't know what I like better - deep sea fishing or cubicle fishing."