Relations Between The Sexes Comic Strips - Page 9
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174 Results for Relations Between The Sexes
View 81 - 90 results for relations between the sexes comic strips. Discover the best "Relations Between The Sexes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 27,
2004
Tags paranoid, emplooyees, trying to kill, pauses between words, no payment, ruled out paranoia, session, therapist session, crazy, couch, offensive, cheap, reluctance to heal
Transcript
The Boss: I think my employees are trying t kill me. Am I paranoid? The boss: put your answer in an metal. O spot want to be paying for the pauses between you words. Therapist: Ive ruled out paranoia. The Boss: phew thats a relief.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday June 07,
2004
Tags prima donna, indeispensable, being obnoxious, undermining authority, pants optional zone
Transcript
"I hired a new Prima Donna. I already hate his guts, but he's indispensable." "He'll be dividing his time between being obnoxious and undermining my authority." "And the rules don't apply to him." "I declare this a pants-optional zone."
Thursday October 14,
2004
Tags highly prodcutive, useless guy, employee abseteeism, stats, analysis, disk storage, science
Transcript
The highly productive but useless guy Heres a copy of my white paper. Its a statistical analysis of the correlation between disk storage and employee absenteeism. I oddment know how to do statistics but ut doesn't matter because I didn't have data.
Friday January 14,
2005
Tags statistical analysis, efforts and rewards, sea of randomness, devoid of purpose, lactation
Transcript
Asok: "I did a statistical analysis and found no correlation between my efforts and my rewards." "I felt adrift in a sea of radomness and absurd, devoid of purpose, lost." "And then I got paid and I purchased some unnecessary merchandise and now I feel fine." Wally: "Lactation can't be far behind."
Monday January 17,
2005
Tags discontinued chips, crazy glare, useless
Transcript
"Hey, Dilbert, can you update the yield numbers for our discontinued chips?" "Well, if I have to choose between being rude and doing something useless..." "Consider my crazy glare." "I guess I'll start being useless."
Thursday March 17,
2005
Tags conference call, boss, 15 people, availablity, august 6th, 5 minutes, so far so good
Transcript
Asok: "Hello, this is Asok the intern. I am trying to set up a conference all with you boss and 15 other people."<Br>"Could you tell me all of the times he is available in the next six months?"<Br>"Only Augus sixth between 8:35 and 8:40." "So far so good."
Friday March 18,
2005
Tags conference call, success, set up, 15 people, forgot to call in, mute buttons, spinning story
Transcript
Asok: The conference call was a huge sucess. "Three out of 15 people were available and only one of them forgot to call in." The boss: "So it was a phone call between two people?" Asok: "It would have been if they hadn't used the mute buttons."
Tuesday April 12,
2005
Tags marketing campiagn, free samples, worked, decline, intelligence, conclusion, marketing, business
Transcript
Dilbert: "My marketing plan involved giving free samples of our cruddy product to celebrity lookalikes." "The fact that it worked caused a steep decline in my respect for the intelligence of people." "In conclusion, there's a fine line between marketing and hating."
Tuesday July 26,
2005
Tags quality estimates, arm, torso, stupid elbow, forgetful, yelling, bearting, holding document, senior moments
Transcript
The boss: "Alice, where are the quality estimates that I asked you for an hour ago?" "It's between your left arm and your stout torso, about elbow-high." "Stupid elbow."
Sunday August 21,
2005
Tags easy news cahnnel, easy to gather, countries want to kill u.s., no phones, two middle aged white guys, they hate us, we are wonderful, buy book
Transcript
"Good evening. This is the Dogbert Easy News Channel." "We bring you all the news that's easy to gather." "Today's top story is about something that was first reported in a newspaper and later read by me." "People in other countries want to kill us. The rest of the article is mostly names I can't pronounce." "We thought about asking them why they want to kill us, but they don't have phones." "So here's the next best thing: a debate between two middle-aged white guys who also don't know why people want to kill us." "They hate us because we are so wonderful." "Buy my book or you will all die!" "Next on Easy News, our panelists wll discuss dumb crooks who keep getting stuck in chimneys." "Excellent."

