Second Monitor Comic Strips - Page 9

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176 Results for Second Monitor

View 81 - 90 results for second monitor comic strips. Discover the best "Second Monitor" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology demo, #software, #user interface, #not working, #gotta get some, #any questions, #engineering

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Caption reads: "The Technology Demo." Dilbert explains to the Boss and to Ted as they are reviewing the demo: "The software isn't 100% complete." Pointing at the monitor screen, Dilbert continues to explain: "If it had a user interface you would see something here...here...and sometimes here." He concludes: "And then you'd be saying, 'I gotta get me some of that.' Any questions?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #baby cio, #meeting, #diapers, #nature calls, #big words, #very advanced, #baby, #infany, #genius, #smart, #talks, #business

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ALICE: have you met the new CIO? Dilbert: No. Alice: I hear he's young. New Cio: Hello. We need to integrate our enterprise resource planning with our existing E-commerce platform. Now if you'll excuse me. Nature Calls. AAAHHH.... Then we'll decentralize the procurement function and....hold on a second. Gramps could you do me a huge favor?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer type, #feeble minded people, #reorganize, #second guess, #dogbert consults

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Dogbert is sitting at a conference table beside the boss, across from Dilbert and Wally. Dogbert says, "You need to reorganize by customer type." Gesturing toward the boss, Dogbert continues, "One division would focus on selling to feeble-minded people." The boss says, "Are you gesturing at me because I would work in that division?" Dogbert says, "What's your second guess?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doing it wrong, #response time, #sub second, #two seconds, #always right, #never wrong, #screaming

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Noriko says to Dilbert, "And we'll have sub-second response time. Dilbert says to Noriko, "Actually, it's already two seconds, and your change will add two more." Noriko exclaims to Dilbert, "Why do you always have to be right?!" Noriko says to Dilbert, "Just once can't you admit I'm right?" Dilbert says, "Okay, I admit that two plus two equals less than one." Noriko says, "I don't mean now, jerk. I mean in general." Dilbert says, "Okay. In general I admit that the rules of physics are optional." Noriko exclaims, "You're doing it wrong!!" Dilbert says, "You're right. My fault again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation fairy, #rewarding, #blurry vision, #long hors, #no raises, #no cubicle, #hair coming out, #wally fairy

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THE MOTIVATION FAIRY: The Fairy is sitting on top of Wally's computer monitor. Wally says, "It seems like your job isn't very rewarding." The Fairy, rubbing an eye, says, "Vision getting blurry." Wally says, "Long hours. No raises. No cubicle." The Fairy says, "Hair coming out in clumps." Wally watches as the Fairy flies away. The Fairy, looking exactly like Wally, with glasses and an almost bald head, says, "He's good. He's very good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #monitor, #pc arrived, #weak memories, #cheese with whine, #memorizing calendar

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Asok the Intern says to Mordac, "Um... Mordac, my new PC arrived without a monitor." Mordac says to Asok, "Bah! Only interns with weak memories need monitors!" Asok says, "Please. I am having enough difficulty memorizing my calendar." Mordac asks, "Did you want any cheese with that whine?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #operating system, #reboot, #mouse pad, #monitor, #incompatible mouse pad, #rebooting system

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DOGBERT'S TECH SUPPORT: Dogbert sits at his computer wearing a telephone headset. Dogbert says, "Your mousepad is incompatible with your operating system." The Boss listens on his telephone as Dogbert continues, "Try rebooting the mousepad. If that doesn't work, I'll call you back." Still on the phone The Boss asks, "How will you know?" and listens as Dogbert replies, "I'll watch you through your monitor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dental plan, #golden handcuffs, #prickly panties, #retain best employess, #bowl of candy

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Catbert says to Wally, "We try to retain our best employees by giving them 'golden handcuffs.'" Catbert continues saying to Wally, "The rest of you will experience our other program, the one I call 'Prickly Panties.'" Wally, holding a large bowl, says to Dilbert, "Then he gave me a huge bowl of candy." Dilbert, pointing to his computer monitor, says, "Hey, they cut our dental plan again!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #snails, #offcie, #slime trail, #hand lotion, #second sign, #addicted, #office

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Dilbert approaches Tina the Tech Writer. A piece of paper sticks to his hand. He says, "I think we have snails in the office." Dilbert holds the sheet of paper up and it appears to have something on it. Dilbert says, "There's a slime trail on everything." Dilbert exits and Tina stands on her desk chair to reach a giant pump labelled "Hand Lotion." Tina thinks, "That might be the second sign that I'm addicted to hand lotion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #music in offcie, #can't concentrate, #turn it down, #drive you nuts, #complain, #cubicles, #separation, #desks

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Dilbert leans over the cubicle wall and says, "Could you turn off the music? I can't concentrate" to the coworker next to him. The coworker replies, "How about if I turn it down to a level where it still drives you nuts but you're too shy to complain a second time?" Dilbert says, "Thank you." The coworker says, "It might creep up over time."