Secret Comic Strips - Page 9
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120 Results for Secret
View 81 - 90 results for secret comic strips. Discover the best "Secret" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 12,
2013
Tags boss, coffee, good managing, horing, ignorance (knowledge), insulting, managers & supervisors, smart people, confontation, business
Transcript
Boss: Today I learned that the secret of good managing is hiring people who are smarter than I am. Maybe I'll try that next time.
Monday April 29,
2013
Tags conversation, prosperity, secret to usccess, eating bread, follow your passion
Transcript
Boss: Asok, the secret to success is to do what you love and stick to it. Asok: I like eating bread. Boss: Exactly! Follow your passion. Six Months Later Asok: Maybe I should try something else. Boss: Quitter.
Tuesday May 21,
2013
Tags excitement, flattery, respect, companys success
Transcript
Customer Meeting CEO: The secret of our company's success is that we hire good people. Dilbert: What? Are you saying I'm good? I've never heard a compliment at work. What is that feeling inside me? Is it the thing called self-esteem? Customer: Awkward. CEO: Just ignore him. Dilbert: Behold my goodness!
Tuesday June 11,
2013
Tags honesty, managers & supervisors, secret of success, plan b, two hairballs, business
Transcript
Boss: Asok, the secret to success is making your boss look good. Asok: What if my boss looks like two hairballs on an infected bladder? There's no way to make that look good. Boss: You're not off to a strong start. Asok: Please tell me there's a Plan B.
Friday September 06,
2013
Tags civil liberties, surveillance, lost data, company data, backups, governments secret database, recors, working fine
Transcript
Dilbert: We lost all of our company data and our backups, too. So I hacked into our government's secret database where they keep records of everything we say or do and got it all back. Boss: I feel as if I should be doing something now. Dilbert: Nah. Everything is working fine.
Friday September 13,
2013
Tags correspondence, rodents, dilbert seeks asylum at elbonia's embassy, embassy, Peanut, squirrel, secret message
Transcript
Dilbert seeks asylum at Elbonia's embassy Elbonian: We don't have a lot of fancy technology in our embassy. If you want to send a message to the outside world, carve it on a peanut and give it to a squirrel. Dilbert: The squirrel would eat the peanut. Elbonian: Wow! You do not trust squirrels.
Saturday September 14,
2013
Tags Family, right to asylum, surveillance, execute dilbert, treason, top secret data, graves, shovel, backyard
Transcript
NSA Agent: Your son is a traitor who stole top-secret data from his own government. We'd like you to talk him into leaving the Elbonian embassy so we can execute him for treason.
Friday February 21,
2014
Tags balanced, hiding in plain sight, life balance, rewarding work, so genius, work ethic, secret to rewarding life, learning secrets
Transcript
Wally: The secret to having a rewarding work-life balance is to have no life. Then it's easy to keep things balanced by doing no work. Asok: So simple, and yet, so genius. Wally: It was hiding in plain sight.
Thursday February 27,
2014
Tags cruelty, frustration, achieved golas, secret goals, set for you, failed to achieve, anger, exact situation
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm happy to report that I achieved every goal you set for me last year. Boss: But you failed to achieve the secret goals I set for you. Dilbert: Why would you have secret goals for me?!! Boss: For this exact situation.
Saturday July 19,
2014
Tags thinking, secret to success, keeping things simple, absolute, realtive, alternatives
Transcript
Boss: The secret to success is keeping things simple. Dilbert: Do you mean simple in an absolute sense or relative to the alternatives? Boss: It depends on the situation. Dilbert: Sounds complicated.


