Sense Of Desparation Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for sense of desparation comic strips. Discover the best "Sense Of Desparation" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #small groups, #argue, #alone, #talk to self, #annoyed, #empty chairs, #business

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The Boss says, "We'll break into small groups to discuss options." Dilbert says, "Why? Do you think we'll be smarter when we're in small groups?" The Boss says, "That way everyone gets more time to talk." Dilbert says, "According to your theory, the ideal group size would be one person talking to himself." The Boss says, "No, you also need the knowledge and perspective that extra people bring." Dilbert says, "That would argue for larger groups, not smaller ones." The Boss says, "Fine! Just break into whatever size groups you think make sense." Dilbert says, "I like your style, Dilbert." Dilbert says, "Thank you for noticing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #schedule, #conference room, #boss, #yell, #angry, #tie up, #pointy hair, #business

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The Boss says, "I need this room for my meeting." Dilbert says, "Wouldn't it make more sense for you to get a different room since we're already here?" The Boss says, "All of the conference rooms are booked." Dilbert says, "Okay, then I guess we should compare the importance of your meeting versus this one." The Boss says, "That's not how it works." The Boss says, "Conference rooms go to the highest ranked manager." Dilbert says, "It took me months to schedule this meeting!" The Boss says, "Scram." The Boss says, "The goal of this meeting is to figure out why nothing ever gets done around here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2010's comic on:


Tags #rival, #drain hope, #optimism, #yell, #freak out, #scary, #mouth open, #meeting, #business

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The Boss says, "You mission is to assassinate the motivation of my rival." The Boss says, "I want you to attend a meeting with him and drain the optimism out of his body." Man says, "What is happening to my sense of hope?" Wally says, "Let it happen."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2010's comic on:


Tags #email, #boss, #clear, #nonsense, #act randomly, #turn on and off

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Dilbert says, "I got your e-mail. It almost made sense." Dilbert says, "My plan is to act randomly and hope for the best." The Boss says, "Perhaps I can be more clear." Dilbert says, "Really? You can just turn it on and off like that?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2010's comic on:


Tags #noisy bag of chips, #speaker phone, #common sense, #wounded ego, #guy on speaker phone

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Dilbert says, "Maybe it's not a good idea to eat a noisy bag of chips next to a speaker-phone." Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. My common sense has wounded your ego and made you defiant." Asok says, "Did you really think he would stop?" Dilbert says, "No. I hate the guy who was on the speaker-phone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2011's comic on:


Tags #golf, #managers & supervisors, #rich people, #sense of passion, #feel different, #Sports, #business

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The Boss: The experts say Is house motivate you by displaying my own sense of passion and purpose. I love getting rich at your expense....and golfing!!! Do you feel and different? Dilbert: Yup.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #program website, #collect browser hostory, #invent device, #sense of right and wrong

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The boss: How hard would it be to program our website to collect browser history from our visitors? Dilbert: well, first Id need to invent some sort of device that reverses my sense of right and wrong. The Boss: so...we we talking about a week ...or a month?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2011's comic on:


Tags #exhaustion / tiredness, #office workers, #peak efficeincy, #brain, #peak effiency, #not working

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Dilbert: My brain isn't working at its peak efficiency this afternoon. Common sense says I should go home early to avoid making any mistakes that would be bad for the company. Unless... nothing I... do is important. Boss: Sounds like your brain is back to its peak efficiency.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #joking, #market share, #increase market share, #good sense of humor

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CEO: Our strategy is to increase market share. Dilbert: I'm confused. I spent all last year trying to decrease our market share. Was that effort wasted? Don't worry. Wally told me he has a good sense of humor. Wally: I'm not reliable.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #car pool, #saving planet, #steal time, #theif, #hitch a ride, #hero, #ride in trunk, #pretend, #sneaky, #leave work

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Russell: Gotta go. Carpool. Boss: Okay. See you tomorrow. Wally: I have to go too. Boss: Whoa! Sit back down. Wally: Why does the carpooler get to leave early? Boss: Carpoolers are like heroes that are saving the entire planet. You're more like a thief who is trying to steal time from the company. Wally: What if I hitch a ride home in the carpooler's trunk? That would make me a hero too. Boss: That sort of makes sense. Russell: I only pretend to have a carpool, but you're welcome to ride in my trunk. Wally: Deal!