Several Options Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

145 Results for Several Options

View 81 - 90 results for several options comic strips. Discover the best "Several Options" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #weekly wally report, #stock options, #maple, #someone lost more

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss, Wally and Dilbert are at a table. Wally says, "Now for the weekly Wally report." Wally says, "Wally struggled to maintain his morale despite the ninety percent drop in his stock options." Wally continues, "Then he remembered that someone lost much, much, much more that he did."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2001's comic on:


Tags #good job, #meeting woman, #late, #sixty hour week, #stock options decline, #not impressed

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman asks Dilbert, "Do you have a good job?" Dilbert says, "It depends on what you mean by good." Dilbert continues, "If you consider the decline of my stock options, I work sixty hours a week for nothing." The woman says, "Hey, look at the time." Dilbert says, "My boss thinks I work eighty hours. Hee hee!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #boost earnings, #mass exodus, #doorway jam

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally sit on either side of the Boss at the conference table. The Boss says, "We're cutting back on advertising to increase earnings." Dilbert quickly turns and says, "Um...Excuse me. I'll be right back." Wally says, "Me too." There are several people piled in the doorway, stuck. A man announces into a walkie-talkie, "We got another mass exodus doorway jam."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2001's comic on:


Tags #electrician, #fix furnace, #invention, #plumber, #roofer, #space time continuum, #carpenter, #fix furnace 1991

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a stool watching as Dilbert fixes what looks like a time machine. Dilbert says, "My invention will let me search the service industry's space-time continuum." Dilbert is seen in the machine travelling through a galaxy with several floating workmen. Dilbert says, "Plumber, roofer, carpenter, electrician." Dilbert stops and looks at one worker and says, "Weren't you supposed to fix my furnace in 1991?" The worker replies, "You're my next house."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2002's comic on:


Tags #selling stock options, #made fortune, #now bankrupt, #401k worthless, #stolen savings, #bad time, #make quote marks, #in effect

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to The Boss, "You made a fortune selling your stock options last month and now we're bankrupt." Alice continues, "My 401l is worthless. So, in effect, you've stolen my life savings." Alice yells, "This would be a bad time to make quote marks in the air while saying, 'in effect.'" The Boss has his hands raised to make quote marks. He stops and says, "Ooh."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #coproaret social responsibilty, #cut salary, #poor people, #extra money, #hose stock holders, #hurt stock options, #pollute less, #bucket, #river, #sludge out, #coffee, #zesty

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says to The Boss, "We need to show more corporate responsibility." The Boss replies, "Okay, I'll cut your salary and give the extra money to poor people." Tina says, "I was hoping we could hose the stockholders, not me." The Boss responds, "That would hurt my stock options." He pauses and then asks, "What if we pollute less?" Tina exclaims, "Yes, yes! That's what I'm talking about. We could pollute less!" The Boss says, "Okay, take a bucket to the river and see how much of our sludge you can get out." Tina asks, "Where would I put it?" Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Dilbert asks, "Is it just me or has the coffee improved?" Wally exclaims, "Zesty!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #move offcie, #near ceo home, #hug expense, #eat mud and die, #stock options, #buy hummer

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our company is relocating to be nearer to our CEO's home." "When asked about the justification for the huge expense, our CO quipped, 'HA HA HA! Eat mud and die!'" "Then he gave himself some stock options and went to buy a Hummer."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #hairball, #stock options, #evil director, #human resources, #bous system, #kindness of management, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: stock options will be replaced with a bonus system. Dilbert: So....now my happiness depends on the kindness of management instead of the gullibility of our investors? Catbert: allow me to respond by hacking a hairball in your direction.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #earned 100 million, #senior management, #unexpended stock options, #incentivized

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: "Tomorrow I'll tell the stockholders that we earned $100 million!" dilbert: "Will you tell them that you gave all of their profits to senior management in the form of unexpensed stock options?" "We had to be incentivized." "So you wouldn't take their furniture, too?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #energy, #million dollar salary, #secreatry, #shareholder meeting, #spank, #stock options, #turned ugly, #beat up, #bandages, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The shareholder meeting turned ugly when I said we used all the profits to give ourselves stock options. They don't understand that I wouldn't work as hard if all I got was my million dollar case salary. Id barely have the energy ti spans my secretary. The boss: Too much info