Steve Jobs Comic Strips - Page 9

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131 Results for Steve Jobs

View 81 - 90 results for steve jobs comic strips. Discover the best "Steve Jobs" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new job, #double workload, #hold papers, #complain, #exaggerate, #sit in chair

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Alice says, "Did I tell you I'm doing two jobs now?" Dilbert says, "About a million times." Dilbert says, "You've complained about it so much that it's like a song I can't get out of my head." Alice says, "I only found out yesterday." Dilbert says, "I'm trying to get ahead of it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #unemployed, #job performance, #fire someone, #cubicle, #fired, #wake up call, #greatness, #business

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Boss: Dilbert, your job performance is terrific. Dilbert: GAAA!!! That's code for "I'm going to fire someone else and make you do two jobs." Boss: Yes, but it's still better to be you than the guy I'm going to fire. Dilbert: We don't know that! This might be the wake-up call that spurs him on to greatness while I work myself to death in this cubicle. Boss: There's no way to please some people. Ted, you're fired. Ted: YES!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #mergers & acquisitions, #slavery is illeagal, #engineers are free, #find jobs, #better companies

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Boss: We're buying an entire company just to get their engineers. Dilbert: Are you aware that slavery is illegal and the engineers are free to find jobs at better companies? Boss: I sure hope you're wrong about that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2011's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #suspicion, #new smart ohone, #no truct, #own agenda, #paranoid, #recharge me, #threats from phone

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Boss: I don't trust my new smartphone. It understands spoken language. That's creepy. I think it has its own agenda. Catbert: You're being paranoid. Boss: Recharge me now or so help me jobs I will delete your contacts.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2012's comic on:


Tags #anger, #interviews, #job applicant, #second opinion, #jb hoppr, #bunny costume, #17 jobs, #2 years, #red flags, #rage issues, #passionate

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Boss: I need a second opinion on a job applicant. His name is J.B. Hopper. He dresses in a bunny costume and he's had seventeen jobs in two years. Catbert: Are there any red flags? Boss: I can't tell if he's passionate or if he has rage issues.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2013's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #questioning, #employees are happiest, #jobs give meaning, #sense of meaning, #bag of organ meat, #draped over, #electric fence, #psychology

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Dilbert: I read an article that says employees are happiest when their jobs give them a sense of meaning. What is this "sense of meaning" thing and how can I get some of it? Because I feel like a bag of organ meat draped over an electric fence. Boss: Almost the same thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #questioning, #ceo, #lawyer, #salespeople, #psychopathy, #disembowle, #rhetorical, #legal

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CEO: You might be wondering why I called this meeting. Dilbert: Well, I see a CEO, a company lawyer, and two salespeople. Those jobs are highly correlated with psychopathy. My guess is that you invited me here to disembowel me. CEO: It was rhetorical!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #executives, #how-to, #book on leadership, #steve jobs, #warren buffet, #gandhi, #ryan seacrest, #carbon based life forms

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CEO: I'm reading a book about what it takes to be a great leader. Do you know what Steve Jobs, Warren Buffett, Gandhi, and Ryan Seacrest have in common? Dilbert: None of them read this book. CEO: And they are carbon-based life-forms.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #work ethic, #rumour, #wo jobs, #outsource job, #elbonia

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Boss: I heard a rumor that you have two jobs and you outsource both of them to Elbonia and keep the difference. Wally: That's crazy. I assure you I don not have two jobs outsourced to Elbonia. Boss: Is it more than two? Wally: That's a different conversation.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #employees, #progress, #policy, #promote from within, #better plans, #business

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Boss: Our policy is to promote from within. Dilbert: How will you backfill the jobs of the people you promoted? Boss: From within. Dilbert: That's one of your better plans.