Stole An Hour Comic Strips - Page 9

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197 Results for Stole An Hour

View 81 - 90 results for stole an hour comic strips. Discover the best "Stole An Hour" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disgruntled employees, #open door policy, #rush hour, #safely dropped, #traffic, #trap door, #eliminate whiners

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Catbert points to a drawing and says to The Boss, "The trap door will work with your 'open door policy' to eliminate whiners." Catbert continues, "Disgruntled employees will be safely dropped into rush hour traffic." The Boss is lying face down in a snowy street. Cars are passing him by. The Boss thinks, "I need to remember that's there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #two hour presentation, #incomprehensible, #powre point, #disability, #content

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"That concludes my two-hour presentation. Any questions?" "Did you intend the presentation to be incomprehenisble, or do you have some sort of rare 'powerpoint' disability." "Are there any questions about the content?" "There was content?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #charging hours to project, #one meeting, #one hour, #extensive preparation, #evaluated, #57 hours, #sat quiet, #charging

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"Wally, why have you been charging all of your hours to my project?" "I invited you to one meeting. It lasted one hour." "Do you think I would go to a meeting without extensive preparation?" "Okay.. that's another hour." "How many more do you need explained?" "Fifty-eight." "After the meeting, I sat quietly and evaluated what everyone said. That took fity-seven hours." "Ha! You're still an hour short. Explain THAT!" "Do you mind if I sit quietly and think about that question for a while?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #netwrok security, #buggy, #complicated, #user guide, #pure evil, #tech support dept, #chimp with typewriter, #strategy, #victims, #hair quiver, #consultants, #paid by hour

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Dogbert Consults. DOgbert: "Your network-security product is buggy and complicated." "Your used guide is an inspired work of pure evil." "And your tech-support department is an inebriated chimpanzee with a typewriter." "One strategy would be to fix all of those problems." The Boss: "What's the other strategy?" Dogbert: "Sell consulting services to your victims... I mean customers!" The Boss: "I'm so happy, it's making my hair quiver!" "But what do we do when our consultants can't make our products work either?" Dogbert: "They're paid by the hour." The Boss: "QUIVER!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #top down budget, #bottom up budget, #ignorance, #cruelty, #lying, #optimism, #cancel, #wasted hour

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Man: "I averaged the top-down budget with the bottom-up budget." "As you can see, the ignorance and cruelty canceled out the lying and optimism." Alice: "Do you have anything to cancel out feelings of a wasted hour?" Man: "Have you tried despair?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #downsized candidate, #alice glad, #boss thanks wally, #ride to church, #on good side

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alice: "Wally, I'm glad we work in the same department." "Because your performance is so bad that you'll be downsized first." "You're like a buffer. As long as you're still here, my job is safe." "And there's nothing you can do to change the situation." The Boss: "Wally, do you mind giving my family a ride to church again this week?" Wally: "No problem." The Boss: "It's nice that you joined my church even though you live an hour away." "And I wouldn't say no to those tasty bagels you always bring for the ride." Alice: "GAAA!!!" The Boss: "Oh... I didn't see you sneak up on me, Heathen.. I mean Alice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lawyer, #400 per hour, #calls dilbert, #legal

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Hello. "This is your lawyer." Lawyer: "Do you mind if I think about you for a few minutes?" "Um... no." "Mmm... $400 an hour." Dilbert: "Wait.. dear lord... noooo!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #airplane, #flight, #seats, #no room, #sleep, #six hour flight, #recline seat, #sleeper, #health

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Dilbert: Six - hour flight. I can get lots of work done, Six hour flight. I can get lost of sleep. Dilbert: I can't feel my hands!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership meeting, #no pen, #no notes, #no decison, #no leadership

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CEO: This was a productive four hour leadership meeting, Id like one of you to type up your notes and send an email to the entire company. No one took notes? The Boss: I didn't have a pen. CEO: Okay no problem, does anyone remember what we decided? The Boss: We agreed to increase...something No, decrease something. CEO: Never mind. lets try it gain on thursday at 8AM Carol: When is the next leadership meeting? The Boss: I should have written that down.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #international pop star, #downloaded cd, #burned guitar, #poor, #made no money, #manager stole

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"Your last job was international pop star?" "Right." "Hey, I recognize you! I bought your new CD." "No you didn't." "When I say bought I mean downloaded." "Exactly. I didn't sell one CD. Everyone downloaded it." "Weren't you already rich?" "My business manager stole everything." "You could perform live." "Too many musicians, not enough venues." "Now do you make music for the love of it?" "I burned my guitar for heat." "I bought your new CD." "No you didn't."