Test Missle Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for test missle comic strips. Discover the best "Test Missle" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #concerns about work, #teds work, #team building exercise, #test here, #sent asok

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"I listened to your concerns about Ted's work, so I tricked him into being left in the middle of the desert." "He thinks it's a team-building exercise. Hee hee!" "We wanted you to transfer him, not kill him." "Really? This is awkward." "And this is Ted. Where's Asok?"

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "What?" "You've been randomly selected for a drug test." "I have a shy bladder. I can't produce under pressure!!!" "Do it now or be fired." "Thanks for understanding." "DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!"

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"Human resources tells me that you refused to take the random drug test." "I didn't refuse. I literally can't do it because I have a shy bladder. It's a medical condition that 7% of men have." "I hope you will understand." "It's a side effect of the nose candy, right?"

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"If you don't give us a urine sample to test, I have to fire you." "How about a hair sample to test instead?" "How do I know it's your hair?" "You can take the sample yourself." "Add this to the list of things you shouldn't trust human resources to do."

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"I'm Betty the Bulldozer, and I always get what I want!" "Drop everything and start doing my bidding now, intern!" "This was just a test. Wait here until I need something." shiver

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #on payroll, #fool proof dna, #identifying losers, #dna doesn't match, #too many losers

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Dogbert Consults Dogbert: Your problem is that you have too many losers on the payroll. Luckily I have developed a fool-proof DNA test for identifying losers. Well, I'm afraid your DNA doesn't match mine, loser.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"This product will leapfrog the iPod and provide pleasure to all five of your senses." "The user can download pictures, smells, tastes, and celebrity tickling patterns." "The test group preferred it over eating. They're all dead." "It has the coolness factor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eliminated budget, #automated test software, #new code, #automated test, #end any converstaion, #calling person big baby

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Dilbert: "You eliminated the budget for automated test software. How are we going to test our new code?" The Boss: "Go write some automated test software, you big baby. I already pay you, so it's free." Dilbert: "Today I learned I can end any conversation by calling the other person a big baby." Dogbert: "Waa-waa! Do you want your bottle?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #typo in budget, #2 things, #can't buy, #hardware, #software, #boss, #offcie, #engineering

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The Boss: "I made a typo in my annual budget request, but don't worry." "There are only two things you can't buy for the test lab this year." "Hardware and software."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intern, #test pilot, #new moon, #shuttle prototype, #wiser, #monkey on first flight

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The Boss: "Asok, I need an intern to test-pilot our new moon shuttle prototype." Asok: "Wouldn't it be wiser to send a monkey on the first flight?" The Boss: "You're thinking of the second flight."